The eternal question: Where the HELL are you going to get money?

Do you know anybody that works at Staples or Kinko's or any of your local copy machine shops? Pandora's Box relied on heavy networking from so-and-so's cousin's brother's girlfriend who happened to work at Staples and could sneak us 300 copies of our issues. Maybe the same would work for you?

Do you work where there IS a copy machine? Is there any way you can sneak usage of the machine when the boss isn't around? Not that I want to get you fired, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The school is also another possible source for copy machines.

If none of these things work, you're going to have to come up with some money. Fast.

1. Classifieds

Maybe your paper can have a classifieds section. If you aggressively lobby the local businesses around your area and explain what your objectives are, they might just pitch in a few dollars here and there to put out an ad or two. If you keep this up per issue, your classifieds section might just explode.

This option is a lot harder. Basically, talk to anyone who might listen and take an interest in your cause. Maybe find a store to simply endorse your endeavors, but you'll probably have to offer some kind of gain for them in return. Think and bargain. What do they want or need? What are THEIR interests or objectives? Why should they give a shit about you, little squirrel?

If you can generate a kickass website, why not offer a local business your services? Show them your talents with a portfolio or print outs of what you can do. Pitch the possibility of increased business and the fact that they can better reach their customer base. Ask in return that all you want is money to print your paper or usage of their copy machine. Get creative.

Try holding carwashes or bake sales or selling something, anything, though don't sell your body, heh. Your talents? Your clothes? Yard sales? Sounds cheesy, but hey, whatever will generate money. Do this in between lobbying for ads and selling shit. Ebay is a good venue to sell shit. Everyone and their mom knows how to use ebay, so I shouldn't have to explain further, right? So the sky's the limit.

The clubs at my high school used to arrange tv tapings with various studios in the area. In exchange for bringing 40 or more people to a tv taping, the studios would pay them a few hundred bucks. Sometimes the shows were pretty cool, such as the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air," and I've even sat in on "Jeopardy." For the most part, we sat in on pilots that never got anywhere, like "The Bonnie Hunt Show." If you live near a tv studio, I'll bet you anything this is a viable option. So look into it. What have you got to lose? All you have to do is laugh when they ask you to, and clap at the end of each taping session. Sometimes they entertain you with a comedian and give you free food. Who doesn't like free food?