Issue Eleven November 1998
The Intro
Hell....o all. Issue eleven is now here for your reading pleasure. The response from Issue Ten was phenomenal. We had a lot of submissions, and that's great. That is what this paper is all about, so keep it up! The more submissions the better.
If you are a person who pays attention to details, you might have noticed that our P.O. Box address changed. The box number used to be 21898, but now it's 210137. I think the post office said something about how they're expanding to make my service better, but so far all I see is a big mess. Anyways, if you're going to send us stuff snail mail, send it to the new address rather than the old one.
Something that The Last is starting, is advertisments! Now some of you may be saying, "Damnit. Another paper with more advertising than articles." Well, that's not us. Advertisments are free. All you have to do is send us EXACTLY what you wanted printed in the article. Our first advertisment ever, I'm proud to say, is on the back cover supporting Jamm for Hunger. I know The Last will be there, so you should too. And remember, bring your friends!
And God said, "Let man know right from wrong, and give him wisdom- so that any man may submit their opinions and ideas to a qualified medium." 2 Then God, realizing he had run out of good ideas, scrapped the project, declared the day holy, and left to the garden to take a nap. 3 God, being tired and irritable, brushed a serpant from it's resting place atop a rock, and there he quickly fell asleep. The annoyed serpant, being the craftiest of all the creatures the Lord God had made, slithered off to go give God some shit- thus ended the seventh day.
Teen Relationships
Tiptoe around "love"
Indulge in "lust"
Speak of "infactuation"
Dream of "friendship"
Holding on toone last hope.
-Daria Ophelia Amos-
Untitled
Sing me a song of a time flown by,
Sing me a song but don’t make me cry,
Read me a book that I long to hear,
Read me a book don’t increase my fear,
Hold me tight and don’t let go,
Hold me tight or I’ll never know,
Play me a tune from days of old,
Play me a tune of a story untold,
Wipe my tears away from my face,
Wipe my tears take me away from this place,
Hold my heart in the palm of my hand,
Hold my heart help me stand.
~ Myra Ellen
Hall Cow Games
Since my original article on Hall Cows, I have seen alot of people enjoying it. Well I have come up with great ways you can have fun with hall cows. I call them the Hall Cow Games: hall cow tipping and hall cow bowling! First I will start with Hall Cow Tipping. It's a pretty simple game. You can play this game with as many friends as you want, but be sure you have enough time to get some points. Tipping can be pretty easy once you get some experience. First you have to find a hall cow and sneak up behind them. Make sure they don't see you! Then you have to give a good push or kick and down they go! For every cow you tip you get 10 points, but if you fail and they see you, you get 5 points. You can also get style points on how you tip them. A kick is 5 points and a really good push is 10 points. This game is pretty cool, but the next game is even better.
I like to call this game Hall Cow Bowling! But be warned, you can get your ass kicked for doing this, but you can do it on freshmen. First off, you need to hunt down some Hall Cows. Stand about a good 10 feet from them. Now you need a clear running room. Get them in your sights and run like hell towards them and knock their ass down! A good knock down gets 10 points and a push gets 5 points. I hope everyone enjoys these games. I might make some more articles on the progress of Hall Cows so look for the ones written by me!
ZeroCom
-"Fight the Hall Cows!"-
Deer Hunting
Yes it's dat time of year again. Time to break out to da orange suits, guns, BEER (BIER), bullets, knifes, apples scents, estrogen scents, big green swaper boots and beef jerky. Yes, this is da time of year, all the good o'l boys are together. Deer hunting is my favorite holiday. Nothing beats being out in da woods, and the spirit of the chase. Da adrenline pumping through your veins when you see da big buck, standing pretty and tall, in da aim of your gun (and when you get da big buck, you hang it's genatalla from a big branch.) Nothing beats those tall tales of encounters in the woods, and those excuses, "I missed because my scope was fogged up." Dis deer season is going to be fucking great. My cousin Todd, with the aid of others, built a great big tree stand, or should I say tree house. It has a roof, and it can fit a couple of people in it, and lots and lots of BEER. The tree house is great and all, but I still enjoy walking in the woods. Even if I don't see or get anything, that's fine, because I just like to walk about the woods anyways. And it's cool knowing I've got my gun here, just incase anything comes along.
Deer hunting brings my family together, because everyone comes up for deer hunting. I get to see people I don't see very often. Then we all go out afterwards and have a great time. My family members and I are all safe responsible hunters. We respect our guns and our game. I just hope that all other hunters out there are the same. We use every part of a deer after the kill, nothing goes to waste. To hunt for sport and only sport in my opinion, is stupid. So for all the hunters out there that are reading this, have a safe hunting and don't hunt while under the influence of alcoholic beverages. One more thing, don't go and fall out of any trees!
-the car burning hick-
Love's Last Conversation
Hi!
Hello!
How are you?
Just fine. and you?
Great!
That's nice
I need to talk
Why?
I need you
Thanks, same here
No, I want you
Okay.
I really want you
I'm flattered
I love you
I love you too.
I will never leave
How can I be Sure?
Don't worry, we will be together
I don't know..
No, together forever
Forever?
After death and beyond
What?
Good night my love.
Good night
Sleep well, my love.
Same to you
Cry tonight, my love
It is your last night.
Rain
Someone once told me "When it rains it pours." He was right. He also assured me it would eventually stop. I haven't seen the sun in a long time. The rivers are overflwing and dams dont look like they will hold much longer. Sometimes the rain starts to receed and I hold my breath, only to have the wind knocked out of me by a vicious storm that I should have seen comming. There is no shelter, no refuge, and no salvation. I will drown. I have done this to myself. I danced the rain dance. Help Me.
~Aeon
Guys in skirts
It is homecoming time again and the school has become festive. You look around and see things decorated and the mood among most students higher (whether it be participating in events and decorating yourself up or just making jokes about those who do).
There is something that I've noticed these past few days. As I walk down the halls and listen to people's conversations. I find it extremely amusing how the cheerleaders for the Powder Puff Games get so excited in planning their outfits. What bra to where? What dress to where? How to do their make-up? You know something, now that I think about it, guys dress up as girls when going to "Ladies' Night" at bars and Halloween.
I think it's fun just like everyone else. It's interesting and different. Everyone feels somewhat involved. The guy feels special, the people who helped with the make-up and more.
I'll bet you something though. I'll bet that these few guys who do this do it because they either like dressing up as girls or are curious. This shouldn't be surprising at all to anyone who pays attention to the society surrounding them. This is because of the statistic that one out of every fifty males likes to dress up as a female. Very interesting...
I am female and I lose no repect for a man in women's clothing, it doesn't make me repect him anymore either. I do lose repect for those who make fun of him.
Lets give a well known example of Greg Paules. If you have ever talked to him, you can conclude that he is fairly intelligent, extremely interesting, somewhat "normal", and definatlly straight. The point I am trying to bring up, if you haven't quite caught on, is: Why do we make fun of a person willing to be themself, when there are people not willing to tell you who they are except in joking around?
I am not going to draw any conclusions from this, that is your job. One thing I'd like you to think about is "Why do we encourage masks of insecurity?"
-Daria Ophelia Amos
Poison
To Silence these noises
I sip on this poison
It fills my existance
It takes me away
I know it's not right
And it's wasting my life
You sit and you laugh
And you watch me decay
I laugh and I cry
And I ask myself why
My life is so empty
My life is so grey
There's nothing to say
And there's nothing to save
I put up with this bullshit
day after day
Quote, Unquote
"Fly away from here, go as fast as you can, because if the monsters see you, and get you, theres no way out"
~ Myra Ellen
I dug
I dug in
And then took a taste
Not bothering to clean
The mess in my haste
A noise at the door
SHE stepped inside
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing" I lied.
"What happened to your face!?"
She screamed in surprise
"It is all very simple,
I have eaten my eyes."
~Ragnarokk Blue
We're just friends!
I was introduced to him at the end of 6th grade. We've grown closer since, and at this moment in my life I would consider him one of my closest friends. What I don't understand is that everyone thinks I like him or something. Our friends know that we don't like eachother, but everyone else seems to think differently. I can't really understand their reasoning. I mean I think I have physically touched him maybe 3 or 4 times in my life. And I don't mean like anything relating to sex or holding hands. I'm talking about the everyday accidental brush of someone's arm or something. We keep our distance. It's just kind of an unwriten rule.
If he were a girl, no one would be thinking or saying anything. So what if we talk on the phone. A lot of people do that. That's what phones are for. To make things even more awkward, I was talking to someone he is friends with once. And he asked me if I liked this guy I'm talking about and of course I laughed at him. But I asked him why he thought that. His reason? "You put up with his crap more than anyone I know." I've been friends with him for a long time. I'm immune to his stupidity. That's about as good as I can put it.
So, just a word to everyone: don't spread rumors or think things before you find out what the truth is. It can really put a strain on a friendship if everyone thinks you're a secret couple.
Memories
The coldness numbs my memories,
The pain freezes them down,
I only wish to be somewhat happy,
But the depression has me bound.
Icing over useless hopes,
They surely got me caught,
Why must i lose these memories,
And watch my fading thoughts?
I pray for the pain to stop,
Sometime in my life,
Maybe not today or soon,
There's just too much pain and strife.
Crying over broken dreams,
They surely got me caught,
Why must i lose these memories,
And watch my fading thoughts?
I just don't understand the guilt,
I know i've done nothing wrong,
Why must i constantly build these walls,
And hear these awful songs?
Killing over lost innocence,
It's surely got me caught,
Why must i lose these memories,
And watch my fading thoughts?
By: Amber Shea Athey
A quote never to be forgotten
I was at school today and i walked into the bathroom. There was a small piece of paper on the corner of one of the sinks. I picked it up and unfolded it. Inside was a neatly printed quote by albert
schweitzet. It read as follows:
"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human
being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."
What was so ironic was at the time I was feeling down and that nobody gave a damn about me, then I remembered someone who did and sent them an e-mail when I got home saying thanks for rekindling my light.
To stacey. :~) from amber
About love in high school
In high school there's a lot of guys that go out with girls only because they like they're looks. Sometimes it's just to say I got a girl, well I'll tell ya something, I'm a girl and I don't go out with guys just for their looks. I don't even go out with guys because I love them,simply because i want to get to know them.i think that is why everyone goes out with people at the age of 13.that's how old i am.i know we are too young to understand what love truly is, but we're getting there ok? I know this guy who lives about 20 hours away from me and I LOVE him. I really LOVE him. More than anyone I have ever met. Maybe I don't feel love, but when I talk to him I feel something, it might not be love, but it's something. I do not like him because of his looks, even though I have seen pictures of him. He isn't model material, but he is acceptionally good looking.
He listens, and understands how I feel. He makes me laugh, and he always apologizes if he upsets me. I listen to him, I understand how he feels. I make him laugh,and I always apologize if I upset at him. And I always say I love you, so does he. Perhaps it will not last long at all. He is 15, I am 13. We enjoy each other's presence even though we live so far away, we still know that we are each listening to, laughing with,and loving each other.now I will probably get some e-mails saying, "you don't know what you're talking about," and that's ok with me, because maybe I don't, but I used to feel unhappy when I'd see other people with their boyfriends/girlfriends because I felt alone. Now I look at them and smile because I realize that someone cares about me,maybe he doesn't really love me, but I don't care. Someone once said you need 3 things to survive "something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for." I used to only have something to do, but now I have someone I love, and what I hope for is that he loves me as much as I love him. Our friendship or whatever you wanna call it may only last a short while, we might stop calling,or sending letters, but if that happens soon,sure i'll be sad, but I'll also be happy for what he has given me. Life. Love. Happiness.
That's all I have to say, so I hope if you read this you will understand what I think love is.
to:my marc
My life please listen
this is a perspective on my life.
i feel shitty a lot and i don't know why,
sometimes i just sit here and cry,but i don't know why,
i hate to live, i hate to die,
but sometimes it just doesn't help to sit here and cry,
i've considered suicide,
i've tried it too,
but that's not the answer, i don't know who has it,
i'm still trying to figure out who,
as i sit here and type,
my hands become numb,
i don't know why,
maybe i'm dreaming, i feel so glum,
jenny is gone now,
she's all i think about,
she was my best friend,
and now she's just gone,
and i'm all alone,
i want to die,
every second of my life,
i've betrayed myself,
with suicide attempts and drug taking,
now i cannot stop either one of them,
i never thought anyone else felt like me,
but apparently they do,and only we know,
how much it truly hurts,
stacey if you read this,
don't be alarmed,
some day i will dissappear,
and never be returned,
perhaps soon if by my choice,
but i would rather live,
than die,
i want to see if i can be happy,
but not now,
because i cannot allow myself to be,
happy,
people smile, laugh, all that stuff,
i smoke, drink and cut myself to make sure,
i still bleed and i am alive,
or not, but just in human form,
i hate to feel pain,
but i know i am still here,
when i bleed from my wounds,
on my arms and hands,
i love this guy,
he loves me,
but he lives too far away too know for sure,
in italy,
his name is marco,
i love him so dear,
but my love for his sweetness,
is everything i fear,
i don't understand why i am sitting here writing,
because stacey is the only one who i feel,
really gives a damn about me,
she said she admires me,
but who am i to believe?
i just sat down and started writing this,
i submitted a poem,it's called memories,
but i still feel alone,
i wish i could see her,
just when she's here i have the chance to talk,
but i keep it all inside,
and don't take off the lock,
but now i wish i could tell her,
how much she means to me,
not in the way that erick says,
but as a friend to me,
she's a happy person,
and wants me to be,
i feel it sometimes,
but i'm not sure it is indeed,
i wish there were more ways,
to express my depression,
if that's what it is?
amber athey
Missed Opportunities
The other day, while sitting in my Economics class, I was asked a question. I didn't quite know how to accept this question. This question was not asked by a teacher. It wasn't a question that takes all that much thought to answer. It was a missed opportunity. I've had what you might call a "crush" on this girl since 6th grade. Sixth grade! Now that's a long time.
It just might be that people you think are attractive tend to scare you, or it might be the people that they hang out with. Well, I always thought this girl was "better," or more "popular," and even "out of my league." We might have always acknowledged each other, but we never really talked. Finally this year we started talking. I started talking to her first and I think I still instigate most of the conversations, but I'm not the kind of person who talks to people I don't feel comfortable with, and certainly not the kind of guy who talks to girls that I think are attractive with ease. So their is something about this girl that I like. Granted I don't know a lot about her, but that's the point of dating, to find out about someone. That's what I use dating for anyway.
After starting to talk for a couple of days, she told me that she could trust me and told me how she had this crush on someone else and that she hasn't dated in a long time. Now your probably thinking that I got mad, but I didn't. I mean how was she supposed to know that liked her? What really got me is what she said next. She started saying how she didn't feel real comfortable with the people she used to hang out with. I suggested that she come hang out with me and my group of friends. She thought that was a good idea and asked what I was doing on Friday and if I wanted to go see a movie. Now it all happened so fast in my mind, so my ears might have been not ready to hear those words. I'm sure she didn't mean it like, "Hey I like you," or "Hey, I think we should date." It was more like a, "Hey, lets just go out." The opportunity was at my finger tips! The girl I've had a crush on for 6 years asking me to go somewhere with her! One little problem...I'm kinda sorta seeing this other person...
Now, don't get me wrong. I declined. She wasn't upset, I didn't expect her to be, it was no big deal, but it's kept me wondering for some time now. A missed opportunity... I mean this person I'm dating has only been for a little while. I'm not even sure where it's going. What if this was my only opportunity? Was it just not meant to be then? Or is this a peek into the future? I hate when things like this happen.
The person who I'm talking about might read this article and know exactly who wrote it. I ask them if they do, to not tell anyone because as they probably noticed, I kept out all the details they told me. I don't know what to do from here. I feel so lost. Is what I'm in the best for me? Is there something better? And if their is, when will I know? How will I know? A missed opportunity...
Untitled
Maybe the strand of hope that I'm holing on to is growing too thin, things are getting so hard again and i feel so lost. I dont know where to go , what to do, I feel so alone. My eyes yearn to cry, but I cant find any tears. Ive cried to long. I cant let anyone see the way i feel inside, because I am slowly rotting away. Maybe i will wake up one morning and there wont be anything left, that is what scares me most....... I keep fumbling through every day the road twists and turns and I keep getting lost. Somewhere along the way i lost things, people, that meant, and mean so much to me. I find myself getting lost in the everyday bustle of life. I know that somewhere, sometime, there had got to be a way out. But where, where, I'm traveling a road to nowhere, and I am getting there fast..................
~ Myra Ellen
She is singing
She sings of hope, she sings of comfort.
Brings out hope for other' empathy,
An understanding of my pain.
Happinesss is temporary, pain lingers.
One day someone will understand,
If it must be in death, that it will.
This is my dream, this is my sustainer.
Life will continue, and so will I,
With this one thought in my mind.
-Daria Ophelia Amos-
Drug Politics
Over the past few years, I have been exposed to all of the basic illegal drug activities that occur in this area. And in some instances, I have even encountered some of the stranger types. One of the things that bothered me most about drugs, and that which I was the most curious about, were the many myths that came along with them. So, time. I had gone through the DARE program in fifth grade, I had read the Drug-Free America pamphlets and saw their commercials, and I saw the specials on 20/20, but even with all of this unreliable "education" which told me what not to do, to touch, or to smoke, I never really felt educated. I guess that's why they call it "drug awareness", because I was aware of these substances, but they never actually told me anything about them.
I was warned that I would kill all of my brain cells, that I would destroy my short-term memory. I was warned that it would stay in my back for my entire life and that if I were to go to prison, that the state would conduct a spinal tap on me, find it, and get me in more trouble. I heard stories of people jumping out of windows, thinking that they could fly. I heard that smoking marijuana through an alluminum screen would give me premature Alzeihmers disease. I heard at least a dozen or so more myths, but for some reason, all of the people I knew that were using these drugs were still fine. People who have be using them recreationally for years were fine. Timothy Leary, one of the biggest druggies in American history, was a Harvard professor who turned into an acid freak. Doctors who did coke all through medical school who are earning a successful living. Parents who live in nice little suburbs smoke pot every now and then. Fifty year old aunts living up north are harvesting high grade marijuana for personal use. And now, the legalization of marijuana for medical use in California. But what about the phrase, "drugs kill?" I knew some drugs were dangerous, but if all these intelligent people were living happy lives, how could drugs be so bad?
So, I decided to try it myself.
After a couple of years of experimenting, I came across a book one of my friends recommended to me; Buzzed: The Straight Facts About Drugs From Alcohol to Ecstacy, a book not written by junkies spreading propaganda about drugs to American youths, but from a team of scientists, neuropharmacologists, and psychologists from Berkley University. I began to read it and found it facinating. I could not put it down and read the entire text. Even the second half of the book was devoted entirely to brain functions and how they affect thought and learning. I found it to be totally unbiased and informing, and I have learned a lot from it. Another thing that it has made me realize was how uneducated the American people are, and how sickening it was that this country could lead its people astray so much. And now, I cannot help but feel discontent with the way we are approaching this subject, and disgust at how politicians manipulate the fear of these drugs to get votes.
Before I had ever smoked my first joint, I knew there were consequences involved. I knew that I could be harming myself, and I knew that what I was doing was considered wrong by society. But I also knew one other thing. Something that I think is the most important philosophy when in this situation. There is a difference between "using" and "abusing" substances, and when you use them resposibly you can lead a normal happy life, but if you abuse this responsibility, you can end up a junkie. I am not advocating the use of drugs, because I know there are some that are too addictive, too powerful, and too dangerous, but I am advocating an education about drugs.
Alcohol is a drug, it is legal, and has been consumed by mankind for years. It can never be taken away, and we won't let anybody take it away from us. It kills millions every year, destroys lives and families, but we still use it. We use it to celebrate a wedding, a romantic evening with a spouse, or a party. But then there are those who abuse it everyday, becoming alcoholics, driving home drunk, or drinking too much and having to go to the hospital and get their stomach pumped. There are consequences to consuming any substance, whether good, bad, or both, but it is absolutely necessary to educate people about making the right decision and handling these things responsibly. I would just like to conclude by saying use it, don't abuse it, and someday our generation will realize the benefits of some of these substances and we can take a more mature route in handling them. Thank you.
Quote,Unquote
"Sleep now while you can, because soon, you will never sleep again."
~ Myra Ellen
Family
Standing alone, I search around for some movement. Any form of movement would be fine....A squirrel scattering about, leaves falling, wind, a tree talking. Anything! After seeing nothing for about 20 minutes, I decide it's safe and continue with my work. It's not that I don't want anybody knowing what I'm doing exactly. Or even that I'm out here.
My paranoia comes from my great aunt's late husband's cousin's grandfather's neighbor's boss's great-grandaughter, who happens to be marrying my friend's mother's sister's son. Which is perfectly fine by
me, except for the fact that if she didn't exist, I'd be perfectly happy out here in the deep woods, and not care if another soul was around or not. But here I am, and there's nothing I can do about it.
So anyway, here I am wandering about collecting nuts and berries for a special treat I want to make for my step-aunt's sister in law, because her name is Trish and usually people named Trish are very sweet. I only know one, but I can go on that since I'm just that sort of person. I'm through with my duty and skip the half a mile back to my bicycle and rode furiously home. I want everything to be perfect! I walk into my back door and on through to the kitchen. Spilling my berries and nuts on the floor I pick through them, occasionally squishing one because of the funny splatter noise it makes. Peanut Butter would go perfectly!!!
One thin tortia, a jar of peanut butter and some cheerios later, my perfect masterpiece was done. I roll it into a burrito and store it in the freezer til my aunt's sister in law comes. Of course ... she never comes. She never will come. Why would she come? But I never lose hope and sit by the door day after day. My mother thinks I'm crazy...but who is she to talk. She's the one who find's it entertaining to go out to a club and meet people. Family is the importance of life. FAMILY is why we live.
I repeat the word over and over to myself. Family. Family. Amily. Mily. Millie. MILLIE! MIllie the bus driver! I remember Millie and began preparing a special treat for her visit which may never come....
~signed a RECENT ALUMNI OF THE LAST STAFF. ;);) starts with a B....:P
Never coming back
I have left my body
I have left my soul
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anything
I'm never coming back
I want to be by myself
I want to be free
I'm not your little freak
I'm not your god damn slave
Just leave me Alone
Just go away
I'm never coming back
-ZeroCom-
Quote,Unquote
"Smile for me and show me how, because to tell you the truth, I don’t know if I can remember......"
~ Myra Ellen
My school by Esomas
My school sucks my ass. Or so-called school. We have a lovely
overweight drunk for a principal (he hates me) and an embezzling dictatorial
superintendent (he hates me). Our school board is useless because:
a) They are all under superintendent's rule.
b) They are too busy playing with their Giga-pets (I smashed mine with
a sledgehammer) to accomplish anything useful.
c) They are all ultra-conservatives, with the exception of two, who
combined have the intelligence of a none-too-bright tossed salad.
Our school board loves making rules. When in doubt, make a rule about
it. If you see something you don't like, justifiable or not, make a rule about
it. We now have a rule that we can't have opened drink containers (other than
water) anywhere but the commons. We can have closed ones other places, but here
is the kicker: They can't just be closed, but even if the SEAL IS BROKEN,
CLOSED OR NOT, it counts as an damn open container. We also can't have food or
drinks on the bus, not because of any spills, but because they are a choking
hazard if we were to hit an unexpected bump. You just have to point and laugh
at that rule.
Our teachers are too busy fucking each other to teach us anything. I
have "intercepted" an e-mail between them reading "Waking up in the morning
next to you really brightens my day." This is between a married woman and a
single guy. Our Ag teacher is a whore, and will fuck any student, admin, or
other teacher who asks.
Two years ago, in 8th grade, I planted a small, harmless computer
extension on a teacher's computer. It simulated someone sitting down and
typing happy messages (hi, have a nice day, etc.). Once they caught me, I was
kicked off school computers for the rest of the year. Keep in mind, this was
about two weeks after school started. Guess how I was caught? The sound effects
it plays were first heard while I was on the computer. God I hate teachers.
The goddamn superintendent hates my girlfriend. Ever since she decided
to stay with her mom instead of her dad (the super's close friend) he has
hated her. Who was TOTALLY eligible for honors classes? My girlfriend. Who
didn't make the honors classes? Right. Who has absolutely no legal record or
school perm. record of any kind? My girlfriend. Whose locker gets searched (see
below) for "illegal" stuff almost daily? Uh-huh. Who was going to do a
foreign-exchange in Ukraine? My girlfriend. Who didn't go on a technicality
that was usually ignored in the past? You got it. God I hate the super.
In the student handbook, it says that they will do locker searches
whenever they want, but in order to search your own belongings (bookbag, coat,
etc.) you have to be present. It says they will only search your car if you are
present. And it says they will only do body searches when there is an immediate
danger to other students. And it says there won't be any strip searches. What
a load of bullshit. They searched my locker AND my own stuff, and took away
some books I had gotten FROM THE SCHOOL LIBRARY. When I asked why, they said
that they contained obscene content, and weren't appropriate for school. Yeah
right. Another time, they searched my car, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, and
confiscated some Adam Sandler CD's because they had adult language on them. I
never got those back, even though they were MY CDs in MY car, which I bought
with MY money, I pay for with MY job, and they had absolutely no right to take
ANYTHING of mine.
Pretty much the entire student body is pissed at the admins for this
load of useless rules. If they keep doing it much more, they'll have an
outright student revolt, and we won't stop until they're gone. I think that
what with keying the admins' cars, pouring sugar in their gas tanks, spray
painting "GO AWAY MOTHERFUCKER" on the side of the superintendent's house,
and other things like that, that they'd get the message. But it doesn't look
like they'll leave anytime soon. God I hate my life.
The more i love it, the more
i hate it.
Society
It's a danger that I want more of.
Blood dances through my body joyously,
but oozes from my wounds like a mucus
Society brings it's kids up with the help of TV and media,
Yet does not take the blame for the misfits
that they have also brought up
Kill the innocent and call it war,
but kill the ignorant and call it a crime
Be an individual, yet do what everyone else does
Follow your God blindly and call it faith
Angel
a single tear falls from the heavens above,
a single heart drops with the loss of love,
an angel bleeds at the sight of my pain,
as she watches the memories seep from my veins,
her blood falls to the earth as she gently sighs,
and another piece of her heart slowly withers and dies,
she watches from her window with only one eye,
her wings are to tired, to tired to fly,
another tear falls as she looks back to the time,
when I could be free and my soul is mine,
she tries and tries to set my soul free,
but I've grown to used to the chains around me,
I've grown used to the walls that hold on to me tight,
the walls that keep me up so late at night,
the walls that make my nightmares come true,
the walls that have torn me away from you,
she tries to make me believe in something more,
she tries to make me leave open the door,
she tries to make me see the one from where true love can really grow,
but where I ask her am i really suposed to go,
where is it that I can find peace,
and where is it that my pain will cease,
I know I have let her down,
I wish my smile could replace my frown,
some day i will be able to see,
some day i will be set free,
but until then I have to stay,
between my walls each and everyday,
bewtween my walls where i feel safe from every day life,
bewtween my walls where i can drop the knife,
so angel I pray dont give up on my just now,
cuz i will get out some day some how
-Myra Ellen-
"Peace, Music, Faeries"
Understanding
Out of all the things that puzzled me, my cousins puzzled me the most. I never understood why they turned out the way they did, meaning why they do bad things.
When we were all little (like when I was 6) we always were together. They were my best friends. Now I barely know any of them. I always (like the rest of our family) blamed the oldest. Since he was the first of them to cause trouble I figured he might have taught the rest of his siblings to do bad. I just never could see where things actually fell apart, or why they did.
A few weeks ago I was camping with my entire family. It was about 1 A.M. when I saw my oldest cousin sitting in the park talking to some guy. I wasn't sure if he was drunk or not but I walked up to say hi anyway. It's not like I hated him for not being the classic, all american boy.
Since he was in the middle of talking I just quietly sat down next to him. I didn't think he saw me, but I realized he was in the middle of telling his life story to this guy next to him. I listened. He was saying he hated to know all the things he had done while under the influence. He said he hated to know all his brothers and sisters were following in his steps. He blames himself for their faults and mistakes. I heard him tell about his mistakes. I've heard them before, but never from him. And people who told me about his mistakes never once told me how sorry he was for doing them. My cousin told how he doesn't see an escape from his mistakes. He lacks hope.
As he went farther back in his life I started hearing things I never knew about before. He told about his alcoholic father who, before the divorce, beat up on his mother. He told the guy about how horrible it felt not being able to help his mother when she couldn't protect herself. He said he always tried to fake like everything was alright, just because he didn't want anyone else to panic. He told how he remembered having to get his brothers and sisters out of the house so his dad couldn't hurt them. One time he said he even went back to try and help his mom. I was crying as he talked. Almost the whole time too. After a few more stories he was done. We all sat not saying a word. My cousin broke the silence when he turned to me and told me he was proud of what I'm going to make of my life. I didnt even think he noticed me yet but to think of it he probably noticed me right away. I think he needed me to hear everything. Maybe he knew I felt he was a good person and he just wanted me to confirm it. I was confused and sad so I left him. I knew I wasnt the right person to save him.
The other night I had a dream. In my dream I saw all the bad things my cousin had to see. I saw the wasted father and their frightened mother. I heard all the things they heard. And when I woke up, I was crying. At that moment, for the first time, I saw why they are the way they are. I finally saw how they were scarred. After all this time I saw that the one way I can help them is to show them the good in the world. If I dont try they're all going to end up just like the man they feared as children.
Untitled
They hate me.
To them I am an exit
through which they vent
their frustration and
anger.
They hate me.
If the did not, they
would be forced to
stare into their
own imperfect shells
They hate me.
I let them hate me. I
could hate them, but I
would never lower myself
to waste my time
They hate me.
They find courage in
numbers. I am but one.
They hate me.
To hate alone
stronger is simple and
provides polish for
bright shinning egos.
I do not hate them
I hate no one, but I
do not respect them.
They are weak and
stoop to use their
anger to persue matters
of illconsequence.
-Aeon
Bonding
Sometimes I look at you and I think of those times when we are together with no barriers. We are open to each other with nothing hidden. Our souls are there awaiting to be examined. Our bodies longing for a gentle touch to heal the sores brought on by life. For once we are alone with one other who we can trust. We are able to bond as the puzzle pieces are put together. Then our souls can bond and enter a haven of love. Lost in a land of ecstasy, we cry out our joys and the feel of being healed. Healed of all pains caused by people in this world. For just those moments that we wish to be endless, but know they can’t. For being in a area of joy forever could ruin one’s hope for another reunion with that dream. So we long for that feeling where we will be one, one in the same. Long during the hours of the day, to have those brief moments of freedom. I long for you now, but when shall the fire that burns be squelched. I cannot wait for the next time you will touch me ever so tenderly, and hold me in safety; hide me from the horrid world outside.
"As long as you hold me, I will try to get by.
As long as you need me, I will try not to die." -Kirsty MacColl
-Daria Ophelia Amos-
Untitled
You hold "a tear in your hand" that "talula" cried. "Mr. Zebra" tried to catch her but she said "I'm stripped of my beauty." So "father lucifer" sent her some "blood roses" as the "icicle" melted. She said "baker baker can you explain if truly his heart was made of icing." But the girl said I've been a " professional widow" for so long that I cant remember how. But we’re " past the mission" and all i can do is try. "China" spoke she said "me and Jesus a few years back used to hang" but all she could think of was " their nine inch nails and little fasciest panties tucked inside the heart of every nice girl." Then she said I was "a bouvier till the wedding day" but I became a "playboy mommy." I miss my " Northern lad" because he left with my "spark." Shes been "silent all these years" because she "cant find those church bells that played when you died, played gloria talkin about hosanna." So I figure "if the divine master plan is perfection maybe next I’ll give Judas a try." But for now I will "pray for jackies strength" so I wrote a "song for eric" can you blame, cause, "I hate the way we fight" So what if I "met him in a hotel" he lives "by the woods"
~ Myra Ellen
Survey
What do you think of The Last?
Here's what a handful of people had to say
about your favorite newspaper.
George Foreman
- I think The Last is a damn fine paper.
Barbara Streisand
- I can't imagine getting all my up-to-date information elsewhere.
GOD
- My worst creation ever....
Leonardo DiCaprio
- I like being pretty.
Dr. Kafka
- What's a paper?
KISS
- It's the biggest paper in the world!
That guy who played Mr. Farley on "Three's Company"
- I need some action, and I get it with The Last
Whoopi
- I like makin whoopi with The Last
Bill Clinton
- Blow me
Whore-O-Scopes
Aries (March 21 - April 19)- You will soon be on Jerry Springer finding out your mate is a transexual in a love triangle. With you.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)- You may find yourself running around naked except for a cape. If you are confused, don't think.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)- Beware the evil arse garblin. He will walk into your class cutting haggas & drinking beer. Then he will kick your ass.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)- You will fail to convince the police that you were innocently attempting to sothe the howler monkey.
Leo (July 23 - Aug 22)- You will see god in a dream, but realize you had acid earlier, eliminating any creedance to his appearance.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)- Your impulses will be explained when it is revealed that the door-to-door salesman your mother has been cheating with is your biological father.
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)- I don't have much time..you are trapped in an artificial dreamscape created by your arch nemisis Dr. Xokoff! we are sending this message via a remote transmitter, in order to get out, you must fir-$..__---$#
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)- You will become obsessed with the conundrum "Do noses have a scent?", go insane, and kill your family.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)- Just because he isn't a woman doesn't mean you shouldn't treat him like one.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)- Just because you aren't a woman doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated like one.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)- You will be the object of ridicule when the irony of the name of Flower (Bambi's friend) strikes you in the middle of class.
Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20)- Pepperidge Farm's true plot will be revealed the day you wake up with no hair.
