Clones
Let's have a look through my wardrobe, shall we? Hmm, what do we find: a few old cordouroy slacks purchased cheaply at a Salvation Army store; some tattered t-shirts; an oversized sweater; one barely suitable, "nice" outfit used only for "special" occasions, such as Grammy's unveiling of her new dentures or Uncle Jack's new toupee. Wait a minute, that can't possibly be all there is! I'm a typical, shallow, superficial teenager, at least that's what the media tells me! I should have closets upon closets full of trendy, hip, fasionable brand-name clothes. Where are they?
Oh, look! There's a rather large pile of clothes over there in the corner that I somehow managed to miss. Silly me! Let's have a look through them and see what we find. Perhaps some expensive Calvin Klein jeans, or a pair of chic, hip velvet bell bottoms, or maybe even a cute baby tee. What! What is all of this? Some fasion nightmare? Why, there's nothing here but navy blue skirts, white blouses, and tights! In fact, they're all navy blue skirts, white blouses, and tights!
Oh, I understand now. Yes, this makes perfect sense. The reason my wardrobe is so limited is because money spent for my clothes has gone to paying for these uniforms. Um, may I please speak up for myself on this subject? No? Well too bad, because I'm going to anyway. I am an original, creative, unique, and special individual. I do not appreciate having that uniqueness stifled by someone else's choice to "conform" me to "standards." I am my own person and can, no matter how shocking this may sound, make decisions on my own without being told by someone else what to think. Whew. Well I guess I should present some form of a rational argument for my opinion, shouldn't I?
In case you, the reader, did not catch it from my purely blatant sarcasm above, I am not a robot of the media. My every moment of every day is not consumed by fantasies of Fila sneakers and Adidas pants. I do not "live" at the mall. In fact, I don't even remember the last time I went to the mall or even the last time I bought clothes at any place other than my good ol' Salvation. What does this have to do with my hatred of uniforms, some of you may be asking. The main use of uniforms is to make all of their wearers "equal"; to reduce jealousy, rivalry, and rage; to keep everyone from knowing who can afford brand-name clothing and who must shop at the thrift store. Are we all that shallow? Who actually cares if someone has more expensive clothing than someone else? I mean, if some deranged person actually does care about that, and actually does waste their money on clothing, I myself would start to question this person's mental capacities.
Let's look at the opposing side for a moment, just to be fair. Pretend for a minute that all of us really are that superficial and fake, and that we really do need to be "equalized" in order to function througout life, otherwise we'd be mad, foaming-at-the-mouth, jealous, raving lunatics. Our solution would be to wear these all-powerful equalizers -- uniforms -- or would it? No, it wouldn't, because uniforms can only "equalize" so much. Underneath the scratchy wool and stiff-necked collars are countless numbers of unique and, gasp, different individuals! Some of us are tall, some of us are short. Some of us are thin, and some of us are not. We each have our own personal shades of eye, hair, and skin color. We each have our own unique and beautiful smiles that no one else on earth can duplicate. If we were all meant to look the same through the use of uniforms, then we would already be the same physically.
If there are people that need to look the same as everyone else so that they don't get upset, then I am sorry because I do not have a solution for their problems; however, it is not just to clothe all humans in the same garb simply because of a minority's difficulties. Perhaps an educational maturity course would be more suitable than allowing this minority their crutch of a uniform, which only hides their problems without solving them. The only solution that I am sure of is that until all people can find the true priorities in life though, give me my uniqueness! Being able to be myself is my right! It is a part of my freedom!