Zero Tolerance, Zero Intelligence
Can you imagine the shock and confusion on the face of 6-year-old Seamus Morris after being suspended for bringing lemon drops to school? Why would a school suspend a first-grader for bringing tasty lemon candies to class? Officially, the lemon drops violated district drug policy because they were "unfamiliar" and "unfamiliar" products are treated as controlled substances. Administrators have to draw the line somewhere, you may say, but should it include all of the asinine rulings we've seen lately? Does a 6-year-old deserve to be suspended for bringing lemon drops to school? Besides reaching new lows in the judgement field, these ignorant administrators and their zero-tolerance rhetoric are teching us that such policies don't work, especially when implemented by fanatical zealots such as themselves.
Take, for example, the case of Joey Hoeffer, age nine, suspended in September for handing out breath mints. Administrators at Weems Elementary in Manassass, Virginia said the mints resembled illicit pills but Joey assured them he was handing out Certs Concentrated Mints. A mother of one of the boys who recieved an "illicit" mint took the evidence to school and Joey was interviewed by the Principal and the police, who confiscated the candy for further analysis. Guess what? Joey was telling the truth; they were Certs Concentrated Mints. Oh, well. too bad for Joey. The school suspended him for one day. He violated the district policy on "look-alike drugs," they said. Apparently, Certs are now "look-alike drugs."
In November, Colin Dunlap was suspended for three days from DuPont Junior High School in Belle, West Virginia for giving a classmate a cough lozenge. School policy requires a parental note for any non-prescription medication and requires suspensions for violation of this policy. Lozenges are included, so Colin got the boot. "Cough drops appear harmless. But none of them are," head-nurse Brenda Isaac said. She cited the fact that zinc can cause abdominal pain, rashes, and breathing problems for people allergic to zinc.
In reference to the suspension, Jennifer Dunlap, Colin's mother said "A cough drop? I think that's the most asinine thing I've ever heard."
John Wiley, an eigth-grader at Mannford Middle School in Mannford Oklahoma, was suspended for 6 months when he turned in a small bag of marijuana to school officials. The dime-sized bag of marijuana was given to him by another student in a school bathroom just before his first class. What school policy creates a criminal out of a student who informs officials of a crime and turns in the evidence? This one: "A student may not sell, possess or use a narcotic or dangerous drug..." Although he was turning in evidence to administrators, he still possessed the evidence, making it a suspendable crime.
What about John Cahani of Atlanta who gave his French teacher a bottle of French wine as a Christmas gift? The present was boxed and all wrapped up, topped off with a red bow, and when the teacher undid all these wrappings to find her student had brought alcohol to school, she notified the principal who suspended John for 10 days. Ten days for anyone bringing alcohol to school, the policy states. Should a gift-wrapped bottle of wine be treated the same as a student sneaking vodka to school in a pop bottle and taking shots during class?
John's parents were so upset with the suspension of their straight-A son and the subsequent refusal to overturn the suspension, they announced that they would take John to Paris for two weeks, during which time he would not be allowed to attend school.
Patty Noble was enraged when her 14-year-old daughter was expelled in January for giving a classmate Advil to help with menstrual cramps. Both of the girls were suspended from Sacajawea Junior High in Federal Way, Washington. The school eventually reversed their decision, but Patty Noble says it's not enough. "This has affected her self-esteem and her reputation, and all because she had Advil. I want to know how the school plans to make this up to her."
In February, two girls were expelled from North Junior High School in Collinsville, Missouri for carrying caffeine pills, Aleve and acne medication. "If the school board believes that caffeine is harmful, then the board must remove all caffeine from the schools including the soda vending machines, chocolate milk, candy bars, chocolate chip cookies, brownies and coffee from the teachers' lounge," said Dan Burton, a Collinsville parent at a school board meeting.
Does a 13-year-old girl in Fariborn, Ohio deserve a nine day suspension for having Midol to help with menstrual cramps? Does the girl that gave her the Midol deserve a fourteen day suspension for distributing drugs?
Should a 13-year-old honor roll student in Humble, Texas be suspended for having Advil in her backpack? Because of the suspension, her grades dropped 20%, and the school board refused to restore them. Is that fair?
If you're an eighth-grader, should you be suspended for having Alka Seltzer on campus? It happened to one unlucky Pennsylvanian.
Remember the boy who was suspended for using mouth wash at school last year? Did they stop the illegal flow of alcohol?
Are these administrators thinking? Where do we make a distinction between candy and drugs, drinking and gift-giving? Right now, we seem to have drawn the line way too far to the "crazy, suspend everyone we can" side.
It seems that the parents of these and other wrongly-suspended students are the only ones using sane judgement. Shana Morris, mother of "little Seamus, the cough-drop pusher," after the fire department and an ambulance were called to the school and she was urged to take her son to the hospital for testing, tried to calm the situation by assuring the school that the lemon drops were harmless. "Complete hysteria," she called it. "I can't believe these people are educating our kids."