The Guide to Being a Sexy Boy

Oh to be a carefree French dandy, a sexy boy if you will. To enjoy long vacations on the Riviera, sleeping with charming young ingenues, smoking cigarettes, eating cheese. What a life it is to be a sexy boy! If you secretly wish to be a sexy boy then read on gentle reader! I will lay out the model of the sexy boy, and by following this pattern, you too can become a sexy French guy.

Let's begin with the appearance. A sexy French man never tucks in his shirt. And when possible, he doesn't wear a shirt at all, but rather strolls around shirtless, wearing a tight pair of jeans, showing off his sexy chest. The chest can be hairy, but not too hairy. Too hairy is not sexy. The haircut must be slightly unkempt, with long bangs that occasionally get in your eyes. The hair can be removed from your eyes with an effeminate flick of the wrist or even better, a head toss. The sexy boy must toss his head back often as it is very sexy, and long bangs can help with this gesture. To be a sexy French man, you must either have a lot of showers or else swim often. This way you're always walking around towel-drying your shaggy head of sexy hair. And women find a man walking around shirtless and towel-drying his head to be extremely sexy. You must be fairly well hung, so that you can have a decent bulge in the front of your fashionable French swimming trunks. This is important for when you walk by the ladies, drying your hair off after an early morning swim. The sexy French man must smoke and often. It is very sexy to stroll around with a cigarette dangling from your lips, which should be full and pouty.

Your bedroom must be simple, plain, even monastic in nature. This way you can't be distracted from the room's primary function, as an arena in which you execute your masterful love-making skills.

Your occupation must allow a lot of time to be on vacation on the Riviera, so it's best to be something like an art dealer or critic. You must enjoy fine French cuisine and wine. Each night should be devoted to enjoying the company of a bevy of French beauties until the sun rises. Then sleep in till noon, get up, and go for a swim. Maybe read some Rousseau.

Psychologically speaking, you must be emotionally detached from all relationships, even aloof. You can't get mad and frustrated, but instead you observe developments in your personal relationships with a curious interest, as if observing an experiment. In fact, it's also helpful to play mind games with your lovers. It doesn't matter if the games you play prevent you from getting sex because, after all, you are a sexy boy and sex is easy for you to come by. The sexy French man must have a best friend, another sexy French man, with whom he can discuss his love life in this detached manner, as if discussing a loaf of French bread. Heavy philosophical reflection is required when considering seducing a woman. But many women must be seduced. The best friend is also somebody to be sexy with. Creating a concentrated area of sexiness is a good thing, as French models and others enjoy having sex will multiple partners.

The sexy French man cannot be monogamous. He must always be open to an opportunity to have an affair with a charming young woman. But do not worry, your woman will understand, after all, you are a sexy French man. The sexy French man doesn't have a problem with romancing a woman who has had many lovers. In fact, it often adds to her charm and makes her even sexier. Sex is referred to as "taking." For instance, you may say to your friend Maurice, "I'm considering taking Bebe mon ami. She is a very charming girl." And he might reply, "Yes, she is very charming indeed." Charm is sexy. You must have sex with charming women. Charm is very important, as it is a crucial part of the sexy boy's persona, so you yourself must be charming. If your woman has an affair, you can't be jealous or mad, only reflective and amused. Discuss it with your friend from a philosophical standpoint. When talking to your best friend it is important to lounge about in a somewhat "gay" manner. This is very sexy, and impresses women. Overall, being somewhat effeminate in your actions (such as the head toss) is important. It is sexy and a sexy boy cannot be overtly macho. STDs and pregnancy are not problems for the sexy boy. Your charm and overall sexiness negate any possibility of either of these troubles arising.

Ah yes, just adhere to this profile carefully and you too could be a sexy French man. Just imagine it, lounging on a secluded beach along the Riviera. Wearing a pair of fashionable, bulging, swimming trunks. The sun reflecting off the water. You tossing back your hair to have a better view of Monique, walking out into the water, her skin smooth and bronzed from the sun. You observe her short cropped hair, and how it shows off her charming neck as you light up a cigarette. Oh yes, and Air plays in the distance.