An Interview with A Submissive:

Master & Servant

Marquis de Sade: What would you like to be called?

Submissive: What do you want to call me? (laughs)

MDS: How about "slave girl" or "O?"

SUB: Call me Delirium, I don't like "slave girl." To me it has such negative connotations.

MDS: Like what?

DELIRIUM: I must do x or y for my Master because he is my Master. I mean Master as 'in ... I'm the hired help.

MDS: Why do you do x or y for a dom?

DELERIUM: To me it's giving a gift. Not giving really, more of an equal exchange. It's trust. I trust him, I know it's only a game, for fun, for pleasure ... More importantly, I do it because I love him and I know that it brings him pleasure. I get just as much pleasure in bringing him pleasure..

MDS: Do you consider yourself a sub?

DELERIUM: When you're this big, they call you mister. Sorry, corny joke. Always! No. Quite often, though. I enjoy being submissive. It's role-playing. I like to play the part of the innocent little girl. Why do good girls go out with rebel bad boys? It's sort of the same idea.

MDS: So do you do anything he wants?

DELERIUM: Anything, yes, so far as what I don't want to occur is discussed beforehand. For example, if I don't want him [doing something], I'll let him know. If I'm not in the mood to [do a certain thing], I'll let him know.

MDS: Ah, I see. Does he ever hit you?

DELERIUM: As I said, if I don't want something, he’ll know beforehand. Yes, he hits me. Not with a fist...

MDS: Not in anger?

DELERIUM: Definitely not. It's sort of a teasing. Like tickle torture, like spankings. Nice, hard spankings. Yum.

MDS: What about whips and chains?

DELERIUM: Never been whipped, but I'd like to give it a try. Chains? It gets annoying when the metal part pulls out hair. Ow. But I think they're sexy. Leather belt on the ass? Yes, yes. It stings, but the pain serves to contrast the pleasure, making it feel all the more pleasurable.

MDS: So can I spank you?

DELERIUM: What, again? So soon? (laughs). If my boyfriend is okay with it, hell yeah. it's fun. Only 'cause you're cute. I wouldn't do it with anyone. Only those I trust.

MDS: Only fellow kinksters.

DELERIUM: Those who are mature enough to understand what BDSM is all about.

MDS: Does BDSM only occur during sex?

DELERIUM: Spanking isn't sex, now is it? It's ... foreplay, though it doesn't have to be. You can be sexually aroused by a spanking and not have to have sex to enjoy it.

MDS: So what, you have the female equivalent of blue balls? (Laughs.)

DELERIUM: (Laughs.) Frustration is a great way to tease. There is a very important point that I want to make. It is not necessary to cum to enjoy sex, or to enjoy being spanked or whipped or tied up.

MDS: A kiss in itself can be emotionally gratifying and share a lot of feelings.

DELERIUM: Agreed. Sexually gratifying as well.

MDS: Okay, last question. Do you think BDSM relates in any way to sexual violence?

DELERIUM: No. Sexual violence is non-consensual. Sexual violence lacks respect and trust. Sexual violence is about one person taking from another, without his or her permission. BDSM on the other hand, is about giving. When I submit to my partner, I'm giving him permission to hurt me. I accept the pain, because I enjoy it. I cannot stress enough, that BDSM involves absolute trust and 100% consent. If an act of giving or receiving pain occurs without trust, without consent, and without enjoyment, then it is wrong. You should stop, immediately. It is important to trust your partner's judgement, whether you are the sub or the dominant partner.

GLOSSARY

Bondage: The act of tying someone up, or being tied up.

BD, B&D: Bondage and Discipline The act of binding someone and performing corporal punishments on them for whatever reason. Ex: Spanking.

BDSM: Bondage Discipline SadoMasochism. This is the general term used to describe all areas of kink It includes D&S, B&D, and S&M.

Dom(inant): The one who is empowered in a BDSM relationship. Often referred to as "Sir" or "Master" or "Mistress' as the case may be.

DS, D&S: Domination and Submission. The term used to describe power exchange in a relationship. Often BDSM relationships are referred to as D&S relationships because they involve a dominant and a submissive.

EPE: Erotic Power Exchange: The act of relinquishing power to one another in a relationship for the purpose of sexual enhancement and BDSM.

Kama Sutra: A book of Indian origin about the act of sex and love making. It's a pretty extensive how-to.

Kink: A universal term used to describe something that is not "normal' Masochism: The erotic enjoyment of receiving pain, humiliation, or domination.

"Normal': This is one of the words in the English language I tend to always put in quotes. That and "reality." If you can find a definition, please tell me.

“0”: The character in the 1965 novel The Story of 0. The book portrays her progression into sexual submission and her 'training.'

Sadism: Deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting pain upon another.

SM, S&M: "SadoMasochism: Advanced Sexual Practices incorporating the consensual use of pain, humiliation, and power exchange for erotic enjoyment."'

Spanking: The physical act of spanking your partner. Sometimes done with a paddle.

Sub(missive): One who surrenders his or herself to another for the purpose of erotic power exchange.

Vanilla: Code word for "not kinky."