Contents:

Post-Devastation
"A bunch of stuff has happened since our last issue, so I'll try to bring you up to speed on some of it."

Deja Vu All Over Again
"Once again, Ontario schools are facing labour unrest. And once again, students are caught in the middle."

Not Ready for the Rocking Chair
"Surprisingly, the obvious love of sensationalism that colours the happenings here at the Woodlands seems to have overlooked an event that is actually significant: the imminent retirement of our principal, Mr. Pirk."

We Do Dis Def:
Getting Schooled at the Temple of Hip Hop
"In the past year, the elements of hip hop (the four main ones being MCing, DJing, Breakdancing and Graffiti Art) have begun to permeate the school, adding a much needed shot of creativity to the culture-starved Woodlands masses. Could the future of Canadian hip hop be walking the halls as you read this?"

A Vegan Perspective on
The Prefect Bar-B-Q
"But still, isn't that sort of like what Hitler could say- If people didn't like all the killing of the Jews and Gypsies and such then why did they help us out? Eh? Because people just go along with flow. You're the ring leaders of this. You're directly supporting the oppression of animals."

Acid Myths
"Acid is a powerful substance worthy of investigation if you find reality to be mundane. It should never be used when you are in any way depressed, uncomfortable, anxious, overzealous, spiteful, ill, or distraught."

Fear and Loathing in Baker's Dozen
"The inference in the previously mentioned article that LSD is relatively harmless, and that flashbacks are caused by traumatic events rather than by acid is a dangerous one to make."

Selling the Sizzle
While Stealing the Steak
"Many people would accuse the media, who rarely show real people in their ads. The problem is, they only present ideals of how we should dress, speak, and act."

Interview with a Tall Guy
"Height is clearly both a social and psychological issue. Disregarding the complex issue of Height's existence, to those who feel it most, it is vital that this issue gets resolved. Only then can those that have suffered under the title of "nerd" move on with their lives. "

Interview with a Valedictorian 2
"Last year's Valedictorian election was somewhat controversial owing to the fact that very few people were aware of when voting would be held. This year the proceedings were much more high profile, and Christine Shalaby was elected Valedictorian for the class of 1998."

People on the Bus
"I have been riding the bus for my whole life. It's the only way I get around."

Misty Watered-Coloured Memories
"As our time winds down here at The Woodlands, and our courses become slack and difficult to attend, many of us OACs have found ourselves reflecting on our "golden years"."

Don't Look Back in Anger
"After three years, I would have to say that Here Title Place is a failure. It didn’t get me loads of easy sex with numerous women. I have yet to receive the sports car that Porsche promised me. My shoe-sponsorship deal with Nike, in which I would be paid $3.5 million to wear the "Ian Ferguson Teen Newspaper Hack" sneaker, has sadly fallen through. 60 Minutes sent back my resume, so I can assume that I am not their first choice to replace Andy Rooney after they pull the plug on his life-support machine. "

HTP Mailbag
"Hello, I am a graduate student in Chemical Engineering, sorry for my ignorance, but could you please tell me some more about the [SAC] president!! As well as what is DX please? "

Dog Guy in "Street Smarts"
"I assure you, it wasn't me." (This file is 70k)