Misty Water-Coloured Memories

As our time winds down here at The Woodlands, and our courses become slack and difficult to attend, many of us OACs have found ourselves reflecting on our "golden years". Generally, most OACs have known each other in some capacity for at least five years, in which time we have loathed the grade sevens, jeered the Prefects (or joined them), and watched our football team cruise to two wins and a tie in that time span.

The question on my mind, however, was what people will tell their grandchildren in thirty years, or in some cases, ten years. I conducted an informal poll of exiting students, and the results were interesting.

The vote leader was, by no surprise, SAC Vice-President Mike V. putting a bucket on his head and setting it ablaze in the SAC office, which eventually led to the banning of everybody from the office except during designated meetings. Close behind the "bucket-head incident" were two events involving cars. Second place went to HTP writer Shiv being hit by a car, which was described in a Woodchips article earlier in this year, and third place went to the actual Woodlands sign getting hit by a car. If you recall, the glorious "W" was bowled over by an unknown vehicle, leaving large tread marks and the sign at a 45-degree angle for a while, in the same year that it was erected.

Other events receiving votes included the infamous "Ladies and gentlemen, I want the eye back!" speech by Mr. Pirk on the announcements, when some young hoodlum swiped a Velcro eye from blood-drop mascot Colin Riddel. This year's election took several votes as well, as did the meningitis walk-out in grade 9, which quickly developed into a bottle-throwing melee with old rival St. Martin's.

Yes, there have been many positive events at Woodlands over the years, but people don't want to hear about them. The only news that sells is bad news, and we at the Woodlands have elevated this principle to a new height (or depth, depending on how you look at it). In closing, to instil pride in all Woodkids everywhere, it was just announced that SAC election candidates at Erindale Secondary School will have their entire speeches screened, after school officials heard about the Woodlands assembly. So when somebody tells you that you can't have an effect on the world, just tell them that you went to Woodlands, where we can spoil anything.