Contents:

Democracy: We Deliver!
"Recently there have been some rumblings among a minority of staff members at this school about the legitimacy of this publication. We have even heard of one teacher noting that freedom of speech does not cover things which are written down."

SAC Elections '98:
DEVASTATING!!!
"It would have been tough to resurrect the spirit of ’97, but with the Woodlands’ recent introduction to party-politics, our SAC executive hopefuls brought the election assembly to new heights, by taking it to a new low."

HTP NEWSWIRE:
More Election News! (web only)
"Following Wednesday's election assembly fiasco, DX candidates George Chu and Minh Dang were removed from the SAC election ballot by Mr. Hedges and the administration. As well George Chu was called down to Mr. Pirk's office and suspended for three days."

SAC Candidate Interviews
"The reason you should vote for me for school President is that I'm the candidate who actually gives a fuck and actually cares about what goes on in this school."

The Prefect Drug
"In fact, the anti-Prefect bandwagon has picked up so much speed that the organization has felt it necessary to treat the question of its image very seriously."

Benefit Show Pictures
"See Mr. Gustin, we didn't eat the food."

Another Woodlands Mystery Solved
"According to Eric, the reason the sign was so costly was because only half of the alleged cost of the sign (which Eric claims is $16,000) actually went to the sign contractor. The rest of the money was supposedly "skimmed" off the top by someone associated with Prefects, and used to pay for a cabin somewhere in Northern Ontario."

School Prayer Groups:
We Kick Ass for the Lord
"HTP: Did you see Springer on Friday? JAM: I don't watch Springer. HTP: Why not? It's a good show. JAM: Well, I just don't get around to watching it... sometimes when I have nothing to do, (not literally) I might flip to Springer. HTP: God finds time to watch Springer, why can't you?"

Anti-Racist Action
"Contrary to popular belief, the main activity of the ARA is not simply beating up or harassing Nazis and White Supremacists."

Seized!
"The story of HTP v3i3 is a long and involved one, but it comes down to the fact that the administration seized a large portion of the paper issues while we were busy putting them together in the caf."

From the 'Why isn't life
more like Dawson's Creek?' file...
"All of this has always struck me as being rather strange. Why is it that, although we have approximately 1700 students in the school all of the time, only a small number seem to be satisfied with the pickings (so to speak)? Don’t get me wrong, I find myself agreeing most of the time, but what reasoning do we have to back up our 'ain’t no booty' claims?"

HTP Mailbag
"About that Joe Dowser article, you probably should know that he seems to have confused a couple of his facts..."

Dog Guy in "Dog Guy Farts in an Elevator"
"I assure you, it wasn't me." (This file is 70k)