Reaction To the Jesus Issue

The last issue of HTP titled "The Jesus Issue", received many mixed messages from our readers. Unfortunately, some of it was bad, but most of the Woodkids that got a copy seemed to find this issue better than the boring strike issue. Many people found to be quite amusing, because of the uh...slightly exaggerated account of the fire that was set in the SAC office. Mike V. who was the person who did the deed, denied that the fire was even that big, and called SACandal "a book of lies". He also said that the office still belonged to the SAC members, and that his only punishment was losing the key. Sure.

Let's not forget our insightful interview with the Grade 8 gang, when one of our writers asked the gang members "if they had any bitches". Apparently, when the article was shown to the Grade 8 Gang, the Sket Crew, their alleged "sister gang" were angry about the bitches part. This prompted a whole bunch of accusations from the Grade 8's interviewed. They confronted one of our writer's, and charged him for making up the part about the bitches, and they denied that they even called the Sket Crew that. In addition, another Grade 8 girl was angry that she was even mentioned. "I was pretty worried that that they were going to knife me." said an anonymous HTP writer. Anyway, HTP can prove that the bitches part wasn't made up, because the whole interview with the Grade 8 Gang was recorded on tape.

HTP also experienced a bit of controversy over the last issue being dedicated to Jesus; particularly with the cover words "His ass died for yo' sins bitch!". Those words offended many people- mostly Christians who revolted by throwing copies onto the floor. The idea of dedicating the issue to Jesus, was because it was his birthday, and HTP considered it to be a nice tribute to our church going readers. "This issue wasn't intended to be anti-Christian, we were just trying to make a statement about the de-religification of Christmas, and also a few cheap jokes at the expense of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." said one of HTP's editors.

According to a high ranking student the administration was not happy with the last issue. We were in fact warned to lay low, and to destroy any evidence that might link us to publishing HTP. That warning, however, was not taken to heart, because the administration are never pleased about our publication, and besides, we're just too smart to ever get caught.

I guess we can say that the Jesus Issue was a return to form, considering how watered down and woodchips- esque the past few issues had been. Don't get too excited though, because this issue is probably as boring an issue as we have ever printed. "Where's all the funny stuff?" you might wonder aloud, before throwing this copy of HTP into a nearby garbage can. Where indeed. But hey, at least we've got Dog Guy.