The Cure For Sanity

Or

Shaloo vs. People who don’t suck shit through the proverbial straw

Or

Blackberry Jam On the Subway and I Have to Go Pee on the Paperbag Princess

Many people smply accept the fact that certain courses are mandatory, and we are forced to take them, but I for one have taken a good hard look at the required courses, and I have to take issue with the entire concept. First of all, the reason for making every student take science, history and french in Grade Nine is just stupid. What’s up with all this “well-rounded human being” garbage? Where are we, fucking Nazi Germany? According to modern teaching theory, students should be informed on a myriad of topics. Fuck that shit! All I want is tech courses and gym classes. I want to be able to take thirty tech and gym courses, and any government that tells me I have to some science trash and some history bullshit is communist. Also, on another note, I don’t just want to be allowed to smoke on school property, I want to smoke in class. Yo guy, if I need to puff a butt, I need to puff a butt, and I’ll do it anywhere. And while I am smoking in class, I want to be able to loudly shout out random old-school rap lyrics, and recount stories about how tanked I was on the weekend. Any school that tells me I can’t do this shit is fascist through and through. I blame Mr. Pirk for all of this nonsense. You may ask why, and I’ll let you in on a little in-house HTP secret: we at HTP blame everything on Mr. Pirk. The fact that the “3rd Bass” dance sucked wasn’t our… uh wait, the SAC’s fault, it was Mr. Pirk’s. The Mir space station troubles? Again, Mr. Pirk. Everything bad in the world is all part of “ol’ Normie’s” plan to raise yearbook costs at the Woodlands, turn it into an Academy and purchase a second sign for $16,000. ALL HAIL KING NORM!