Idiots with a Printing Press

At first, I wasn't even going to bother writing this article. Afterall, it is really kind of pointless. But hey, when you get done to it, so is life. So here we go, straight into HTP's critique of Idiots with a Printing Press, our would be successor.

On one level, I have to sort of begrudgingly admire the IWPP crew for at least making the effort. But really, why even bother? As I read IWPP over and over again, I am at a loss to pick out single relevant or interesting idea. The solitary article is fairly well written, but it has a couple of flaws. Firstly, its hardly all that timely considering that SAC elections were almost six months ago. Secondly, the whole argument is lifted pretty much straight out of an article that appeared in HTP volume 1 issue 4, which came out over a year and a half ago. Lastly, the argument itself was pretty weak then, and its pretty weak now. Is it really such a great injustice that one has to be a member of the SAC (meaning anyone with a student card) to elect the SAC executive? How is this any different from requiring someone to be a Canadian citizen before they can vote in the Federal election? And really, forty dollars isn't a lot of money. It works out to about eleven cents a day, and if you can't afford that, the school will give you some finical help. So basically, there is no point to this article at all. I did like the part about the freezie wrappers though.

The rest of the issue is pretty much pure filler. I found the Horoscopes to be something of a mixed bag, ranging from not very funny, to not funny at all. Also, aphids aren't dangerous to humans. Then there were the poems, which dealt with the high cost of education, lawsuits and a small penis. These poems were so cheesy they were almost funny, but in the end they were just dry. And what's the deal is up with that Far Side Cartoon? Is the joke that the kid is drinking breast milk? Is that the joke? Why don't you just have that for the caption, "This kid is drinking breast milk", because really, that would be a lot funnier. And that Princess Diana /Mother Theresa cartoon, why even bother? Is that someone's idea of cutting edge social commentary, "Look, the media is paying more attention to Diana than to Mother Theresa?" That idea is so overdone that even the Mississauga News had a cartoon like that, except funnier and earlier.

The main flaw with IWPP is lack of content. You can fit much more on a piece of paper than is present here. How long does it take to write an old skool HTP/IWPP style rant? Not very long, considering that amount of research involved (none). Why don't you at least wait until you get a couple of articles before you print your issue? Its not like you're particularly worried about time constraints (i.e. having an article about an event which took place in May in a September issue). Use a smaller font, and shrink down the cartoons. Put some more time into the layout, and use a dark background. That's the key to the elusive HTP style, which Woodchips tried to cop and failed, a dark background with a light foreground. Contrast, baby, contrast. If you're going to have an "underground" publication, try to say something at least slightly controversial, or least something that will offend someone. This article, I am sure will probably offend everyone involved IWPP, since I pretty much stone cold dissed you sorry asses. I think I'll end the paragraph here.

Getting back to that offending thing, I'm pretty sure that you're all pretty angry at us by now (hey grammar police, notice how I've switched into the second person from the third person). Maybe you're thinking about having some kind of literary revenge, and attacking us in your next issue. Please do that. We here at HTP would be only too happy to take a play Woodchips to your HTP (ie. We dismiss you, you attack us, we dismiss you, etc. etc.). Quite honestly, I think we'd make a pretty easy target. The anti-HTP bandwagon is picking up steam, so jump on while you still can. You can even work in some of that anti-SAC stuff and kill one bird with two stones, if you catch my drift. If you need some pointers, we've included a few in a helpful box, so help yourself.