A LOOK INSIDE THE MONKEY HOUSE
HTP'S POST-FEDERAL-ELECTION SUMMARY

The best way to imagine the Parliament of Canada is as if it was a big tub of ju-jubes or gummi bears. Each colour of candy is much like each political party, and only so many gummis can fit in the tub (disembodied bear heads or arms don't count) . Before this election, the House looked like an accident at the gummi factory. The tub was full of red gummis (Liberals), with a sizable smattering of pale blue (Bloc Quebecois) and green (Reform). That was pretty much it. There were a few yellow NDP gummis, and 2 blue bears (Conservatives). This made aficionados of the red gummies very happy, but people who hated red got pissed off. They'd jam their hand into the tub, trying to find a colour that made them happy, but would always come up empty handed.

That all changed after the recent federal election. The candy landscape shifted dramatically. Yes, it was still true that red gummis were more common than any other colour, but now, it's as if everyone is happy. If you like green gummis, you can fish one out, no problem. There are tons of them. Same with pale blue bears. Even if your tastes run to yellow bears (yuck), you can find them, down at the bottom.

The advantage with this year's tub is that there is something for everybody. No one can say that there is a chokehold on the balance of gummi power. If the red gummis try to start something, BAM!, the green gummis can team up with the blue gummis or the yellow gummis or the independent, clear gummi, and kick ass. The downside of this tub is that the gummi's come from different places, according to colour. The red gummis come from Ontario. The yellow gummis were made in the East. The green gummis came from the west, and the light blue, angry gummis came from Quebec (I think the Quebec gummis are the worst, because they hate all the other gummis. They want to start their own tub, with no other gummis at all. Fascists.). This means that the gummis can't come together in a candy consensus, because they're too caught up with their own problems, the problems of the places where they come from. Screw the rest of the tub, they are thinking. This is really bad. Say there's big trouble, like the lid gets left off and they all start to dry out, or some fat kid keeps eating the gummis until only a few are left. Then, who will speak for Greater Gummidom, the common candy good? No one. The pale blue gummis won't shut up about the oppression of gummis in Quebec, and the green gummies want to make sure that gay and minority gummis are eaten first, so that they won't bother the rest of the tub from out west. This is regionalism, and it's big trouble for a tub that wants to stay united.

So, we have to accept the fact that, in this incarnation of the tub, change will come, not from every bear working together towards a common goal, but from different perspectives and different sets of concerns, hammering out a slipshod compromise. Still, in a few years, this tub will get eaten up, and a fresh new crop of bears will fill up a new tub. I guess that is why democracy is such a sweet deal.