House Party

"We came from the Level of Above Human in distant space and we have now exited the bodies that we were wearing for our earthly task, to return to the world from whence we came -- task completed."

In March, holy week, The Learning Channel's "Alien Week", a partial lunar eclipse, the vernal equinox, and one of the brightest comets seen this century coincided, and 39 people died in a Southern California suburb. Years from now, historians may look back at these strange events and chalk them up to coincidence, but today, it is easy to appreciate the grim irony that ties these occurrences together. What is odd about the Heaven's Gate suicides is not that a bunch of people killed themselves; rather, it is that their deaths were so easily preventable and easy to understand.

The US phone-in shows were alive with people calling in, asking "why?". They couldn't understand why a group of intelligent, educated people would slay themselves for nothing at all. These cultists were web page designers, after all; they had the supposed "dream job"of the Information Stuporhighway. They seemed to be pretty smart. Why did they fall for a washed-up, sexually stunted lunatic's warmed-over religion? The answer was, the cultists were fools. They were perhaps the most gullible people in the country. They were narrowly educated and born without a trace of skepticism or wariness. These people felt empty, and they wanted something, anything, to fill them. For that reason, they turned to Marshall Applewhite, who decided that he was a messiah, placed on the earth to lead a group of superior beings (sans testicles) to the Level Above Human. One phenobarb and applesauce martini, coming right up.

Applewhite's religion was perfect for people who felt lonely and isolated by modern society. A mix of apocalyptic Christianity, 70's far-out Eastern mysticism, and basic, rec-room science-fiction, it promised a better life for the unwanted and insecure of this world. "Believe in me, and you will be saved", Marshall said, like any rust-belt two-bit preacher. The main fuel for his cult's belief was T.V. They avidly watched all the Star Trek episodes they could get their hands on, and tuning in to the X-Files was a weekly cult ceremony. Clearly, T.V. helped to shape their beliefs.

That is why I was surprised to find a series of programs on TLC that week about UFOs. Normally, that would be no big deal. However, it is clear that programs such as these helped to shape the mindset of the cult members, by going for sensationalism and cheap thrills, and giving the un-skeptical a taste of what they crave, like challenging Fat Albert to a pie-eating contest. These shows shouldn't have been on TLC, because they were basically lies and mis-representations. One I watched was hosted by a bitter, chubby Scot. He looked like he used to get beaten up a lot as a kid, and was now out for revenge. All of his interviews were shoddy; when he got an answer that he didn't want to hear, he just ignored it and moved on. Most of the "UFO photos" were computer-generated, and the label "simulation"appeared only once, even though the same scene was cut to several times throughout the program. The Scot showed old film clips of a 1960's US military test program for a saucer-shaped vehicle. He tried to imply that the craft was based on captured alien technology. However, there is certainly no evidence of that at all; the "flying saucer" hovered less than a metre above the ground with the thrust from a giant fan in its middle. It scooted across the ground of an air base. Then, the Scot cut to a scene of something else. That bit of shifty editing concealed the fact that, within seconds of the cut, the "flying saucer"careens around like a drunken sailor, and crashes to the ground, rattling around like a hubcap (I have seen it on other aviation shows). If it was based on alien technology, then it is a valuable insight into the building skills of extraterrestrials. They must be a lot like Tim Allen. When the Scot was talking about alien abductions, he actually cut to a lengthy clip from Fire in the Sky, a rather bad Hollywood movie, as if it was documentary footage. This was worse than Graffiti-grade journalism: it was shameless lies and distortion. No wonder people join UFO cults, despite the fact that there has NEVER been one shred of physical evidence to support alien spacecraft coming to earth; The Learning Channel presents it as fact.

As for the UFO behind comet Hale-Bopp; it was merely a blurry star. If you don't believe me, check out any NASA website. You can see photos of the sky, proving that there was no huge spaceship following the comet. In fact, a little investigation will prove that there is nothing mysterious about virtually all claims of UFO sightings. A little digging and some skepticism will present a perfectly valid and rational explanation that does not involve malevolent aliens.

So, in fact, it isn't all that surprising that an apocalyptic techno-cult decided to off itself that week in March. The cultists were just pawns: weak-minded, insecure, and credulous in a world that demands of its inhabitants common sense and not a little wisdom. Science fiction and shoddy, biased journalism only re-enforce the need for people to believe in a complicated, fast-moving society. Perhaps the greatest irony of that week was lost to the news media: as the talking heads covered the suicide, they didn't even seem amazed that 1 billion normal, everyday Christians were celebrating the death of a some guy that turned water into wine, healed the sick through faith, and busted out of his tomb after 3 days of being dead. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?