  mouse ear(forget-me-not) - *** 12”inch vinyl, Troubleman Unlimited Shotmaker is a band which, unfortunately, no longer exists. mouse ear, their last effort before parting ways, is a decent album, but falls short of their last record, ‘95’s Crayon Club, one of the best albums to come out of Canada recently. mouse ear does have some good tracks, though. The first song, “sky”, is an excellent romp of sonic fuknuckery, and “failure” is a stellar track worthy of Shotmaker. It seems that Shotmaker lost their edge on this album, however. The unnamed acoustic song is pretty weak, and the vocals are way too low overall. The sound quality is questionable, and shoddy compared to Crayon Club, which was crisp, clean, and rawkin’ loud. This album makes me think my stereo is too quiet. This is not a bad album. If you have a turntable, and like emotionally-charged, loud, heavy music, git it. POPEYE’S CHICKEN AND BISCUIT- ***** McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC... Those chumps are in the past. Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuit is the wickedest restaurant in the world. Fried Chicken, at its best, not as greasy as KFC, but flava in full effect. The best thing about Popeye’s though, are the biscuits. The biscuits are orgasmic. They are buttery,tasty, and simply amazing. Another bonus about Popeye’s: You can get corn on the cob there! It’s the greatest! And Cheap! Woo! Needless to say, I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good.
GHOSTFACE KILLAH Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothing to fuck with, and this latest installment is no different. But 17 tracks? That’s the only problem with this album. There are many great cuts on this record, but they almost get lost in the mix. The first single, “Daytona 500” is right up there with the best of Wu, and the next two songs are stellar too. The problem? There’s ten songs before that! Some of them are good, there’s no doubt about that, but most of them aren’t enough to be noticeable. “Black Jesus” and “Iron Maiden” are stand-outs, and with Raekwon and Cappadonna adding to most of the tracks, the lyrics are solid. As usual, the RZA is amazing, especially with the triple-phat record scratching on “Daytona 500”.
GIRLS AGAINST BOYS Girls Against Boys have created an immaculate record with House of Girls Against Boys, straight from the first song and single, “Superfire”. This track has got funk, head-shaking goodness, and major wah-wah pedal action. The majority of the first side relies on a combination of steady, eerie verses which break into heavy, hook-laden choruses. “Crash 17” is my new favourite song, with a grinding chorus that makes me play air guitar. GVSB are interesting because of their use of keyboards, which is sporadic, and only used when needed. The second side of the album is quite different, with most songs being more laid-back and reliant on noise. They’re still good, just different, almost Sonic Youth-like. “Zodiac Love Triangle” makes me want to melt into my bean-bag chair.
IAN FLEMING Sure, everyone’s seen the movies. Overblown sets, weak casts, scripts that make a porno movie look like art by comparison, and, of course, the coup de grace- James Bond himself, portrayed by a revolving cast of has-beens or hacks (excluding the man himself, Sean Connery), always leering like a jackass in a tacky polyester suit, at the centre of the action. I want to choke Albert Broccoli for making such a string of shitty flicks, each one more pathetic than the last (except for Goldeneye, which wasn’t all that bad). No, no. It’s time to go back to the source. The books. Yes, before a single movie was made, Ian Fleming had written a string of taut, exciting thrillers, on which the movies are loosely based. Then, he bought the farm. Mercifully, he didn’t live to see his baby bastardized by that filthy swine, Albert Broccoli. Pick up a copy of You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger, From Russia With Love, Dr. No, Moonraker, or Live and Let Die. In it, you will find a solid, intriguing plot, well developed-characters, and a journalist’s eye for details. The real meat of a Bond novel is not the gambling, women, drinking and fast cars of the movies; it is the conflict within the hero, an inner struggle between duty and decadance, morality and vices, his duty to kill for his country, and the compensations he seeks for his work. The genius of the books is in the small things that make Bond’s live liveable: a good shirt, a nice car, food and drink, and the unexpected imperfections of beautiful women. Pick one up, and prove that bloated, festering deviant Albert Broccoli wrong. CIGAR AFICIONADO- **** If I owned a magazine, it would be a lot like this, except with more nudity. Even if you wouldn’t touch a cigar to save Albert Broccoli’s life, it’s still an interesting magazine. It covers everything: cigars, politics, celebrities, gambling, sports, fashion, music, and other stuff. This month’s issue features Wayne Gretzky, the U.S. Poker Championships, deep-se sportfishing, the golf courses of Ireland, interviewer David Frost, and more. Espcially amusing are the opening rants by the fatso that runs the magazine. He’s always pissed off because people won’t let him smoke his cigars in restaurants. I feel his pain. My only complaint is that is doesn’t really have much substance or food for thought, but then again, neither does Baywatch. Read it, and you have started on the road to becoming a classy-ass bastard. 200- A SPACE ODYSSEY- **** Sure, The Empire Strikes Back is a good movie. But if I had to pick a contender for “best sci-fi flick of all time”, this would win, hands-down. Yes, its long and sometimes a bit overblown, but it still manages to redeem itself. Who can forget the hallucinogenic sequence near the end, or the black enigma of the monoliths? This movie revolutionized the way space travel was portrayed in the cinema, with its graceful, slow-motion flight sequences set to classical music. Rent this one. You won’t be disappointed.
VARIOUS ARTISTS The subtitle pretty much says it all (for the less informed, synthcore is essentially a fancy assed term for industrial bands who don't like to use the word industrial to describe themselves.) What a seemingly brilliant concept! Sadly, I found the album on a whole to be somewhat disappointing. When listening to this album, I can not help but think how much better it would be if it contained the original versions of the songs, rather than the new fangeled industrialised versions. While I realise that this album is intended to parody the clichés of both rap and industrial music, the novelty factor soon wears thin. Electronically distorted vocals and industrial drum tracks drain the soul of classics such as Fight the Power, Colours, and Mamma said Knock You out. Beatbox wins back points on tracks like Battery's mellow gothic take on Gangsta's Paradise, and Numb's awesome version of Push It. Also the Clay People's take on Jump Around is at least as good as the original. So overall a mixed bag.
BACKSTREET BOYS I must admit that my method of reviewing this album consisted of listening to each song for about twenty seconds at the Listening Station in Music World, but I feel this gave me a pretty fair gauge of the album. The songs are all very repetitive, and show a lyrical shallowness that make the New Kids on the Block seem like Leonard Cohen in comparison. These boys have neither rhythm nor blues, despite what they may think. What they do have is a teenage poster boy image which draws preteen girls like an exposed light bulb attracts flies. If they had to rely on musical ability, the Backstreat Boys would still be working at Disney World, rightfully overshadowed by more talented though less attractive R&B acts.
LAIBACH As always, Laibach continues to defy conventions. This album contains covers of songs from Andrew Lloyd's Webber's musical of the same name, as well as a cover of Prince's The Cross, and several original songs. The whole thing is done in Laibach's overblown style, continuing the band's focus on the shallowness of Western culture, this time focusing on Christianity. Musically speaking, this album marks the evolution of Laibach from their early Industrial noise style to more of a techno sound. Choral pieces blend with heavy metal guitar riffs, all behind Laibach's unique vocal stylings. While Laibach's combination of Fascist imagery with incredibly unsubtle lyrics, and intentionally tacky Western pop conventions may not be for everyone, I recommend this album anyway.
DJ SHADOW From what I’ve read, it seems as if the mainstream music press, anxious to sink their teeth into the next big exploitable genre, has latched onto this latest DJ Shadow album and gone totally monkey-assed-worship-style on it. I suspect that this is primarily because it fits snuggly into that delicate grey area between urban, gritty street music, and the new ‘intelligent’ electronica, making it a convienient marketing tool against those disinterested in the plight of black urban youth, but who still like to get their booty shaking. Put the politics aside, though, and you’re likely to dig this album. Distant drums and phat basslines play ‘marco polo’ in a pool of Dj Shadow’s collected funk organ riffs and vocal samples. This is definately one to bob your head to. Man alive, this is a good record. Oh, and here’s a little bonus tip, straight from the long-haried cashier at Tower. Shadowspotters can catch the man himself at the Tower downtown location April 19.
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