A VERY
WOODLANDS CHRISTMAS
(homophobia for the holidays)
If you look on page seven of your student planner, you’ll see the Mission Statement of our school - the code that identifies the aims of the Woodlands - which reads: "At the Woodlands school, we proudly seize the opportunity to develop our potential within a supportive environment. Building on our rich heritages, we encourage curiosity, promote excellence, and practice respect." However, the unofficial guide to how students should be treated - the unwritten statement - reads: "Go home and fuck yourself, you faggot. We don’t like your kind around here." Scattered throughout our halls, are people who believe that homosexuals are sub-human sexual deviants, perverts who seduce young children and corrupt the moral fabric of the nation. People tend to fear what they don’t understand, and that fear has shoved a promising student at the Woodlands out the door, and onto the street. In light of this being the Christmas season, we have written this little Yuletide tale to show you just how mean-spirited and grinchlike our school can be. Read between the lines and you will see what we mean.
Rudolph was a good student at North Pole High, with decent marks and membership in a few clubs. He also happened to be bisexual. Rudolph had many friends, who liked and respected him, and included him in all their reindeer games, because they knew that straight and gay were just different labels people gave to each other, like blonde and brunette, male and female, one no better than the other. Because of that, Rudolph was surprised that some of the reindeer, the dumber, slower reindeer, (who were closer to moose, actually) would have a problem with his being bisexual. Why would anyone want to call him names, carve slurs into his locker, throw things at him, and threaten him? Aren’t we all equal? Rudolph finally got tired of the constant hassle and crap he had to put up with from the less-tolerant members of North Pole High. He decided to talk to Santa, the big man himself, about his problem. Santa would understand, wouldn’t he? After all, there’s all that stuff on page seven of the planner that Santa had written, right? Of course Santa would help him. So off he went to see Santa, confident that he would get the help he needed. Boy, was he surprised when Santa basically gave him two options: Rudolph could stay at the Woodlands (oops, I meant North Pole High) and get counseling from Mrs. Claus, or he could leave the school, and come back after a semester to see if things have cooled down. Not to discount the value of a fireside chat with Mrs. Claus, but counseling only makes things right in your head, not in the heads of those who are harassing you (thus, solving nothing). He decided that the best thing he could do to avoid being beaten senseless by the stupid reindeer would be to leave. So, he packed his bags and entered a program called T.E.L.L. In case you’re wondering, T.E.L.L. is a classroom in a mall, where students go for three hours a day to do work in booklets, the kind of education that universities wet their pants laughing at. T.E.L.L. is filled with people who can’t seem to get along in the normal school environment: the kind of people who cope with their problems by slamming someone’s face into a brick wall, and making them eat their teeth.
Although the administration’s quick-fix, drive-thru solution may have worked in the short term, their policy of "See/Hear/Speak no evil" only serves to alienate victims of hate, and sends a message to the student body that this kind of behaviour is somehow accepted. That’s why I’m not so sure that Rudolph will have it easy when he gets back to North Pole High. Look what happened last week: Santa went ballistic when he found a swastika carved onto a classroom door, but he didn’t bother to jump on the P.A. when Rudolph’s safety was being threatened by the stupid reindeer. It’s clear that there’s a double standard at the Woodlands (whoops, there I go again, I mean North Pole High). Some kinds of discrimination get the Big Boss Man hot under the his jolly red suit, but he doesn’t seem to care when some queer gets a hard time. While some students are praised, celebrated, given couches and Ping-Pong tables, it seems those that don’t fit the mold are left to fend for themselves.
Equality for Gays and Lesbians Everywhere (EGALE)
National Headquarters
Arts Court, 2 Daly Avenue
Ottawa, Ontario K1N 6E2
Tel (613) 230-1043 / Fax (613) 237-6651
Email to : egale@netfinder.com