HTP - The Cutting Room Floor

TOILET PAPER 

CAN YOU SAY SUCK? Maybe after reading the last issue of Place Title Here, it will be a little bit easier for you. I remember the first meeting of the newspaper, when we were brainstorming for the upcoming issue. Some members suggested that we write about events outside of school, whereas one of the editors, Gita, reminded us that we should keep the newspaper RELEVANT TO THE STUDENTS. However, when the September issue came out, it was a different story. There was one and a half pages dedicated to "Puff Daddy", by Gita and Sandeep, and a bunch of other useless articles. Honestly, do you think "Puff Daddy" is that relevant? When's the last time Puffy taught you math, English or made cuts to your education? 

Its as if some of the writers on the school paper are on another planet. If you talk to them, they'd probably say something like, "Greetings earthlings, I don't know what high school students do on Earth, but on planet SUCK, other than playing with our zealnots, we have nothing better to do than talk about dead or soon-to-be-dead gangsta rap stars". Bunch of weirdoes. 

Not everyone in this school listens to rap, or hip-hop. Even if there was a portion of the population dedicated to hip-hop, its no reason to waste school space on some charlatan like Puff Daddy. I mean, he's making loads of money off Notorious B.I.G.'s death. Unlike Princess Diana's CD, all the funds go directly to the "Looza Gangsta Puffy Fund". Is this the role model we wish to endorse among our peers? I admit, I've been a bit hard on the 'Puffy' writers, but I remember these same people lecturing the newspaper staff on being RELEVANT. 

At the same time, and this is a fact, these hypocrites write six page first drafts on Puff Daddy. It seems the whole paper has gone down the drain. How much of the last issue would really affect you? Can you imagine the following conversation taking place? Not likely. 

FREAK BOY: Gee, did you read that interesting article on Puff daddy? 

FREAK GIRL: Gosh, I really like that deep perspective on things everybody knew. 

FB: How about that article on University? 

FG Oh, the one that is absolutely useless to me, wow was it neat or what?!?! Sure is insightful, I never thought applying for university would be a big decision. It's almost as original as the article on Princess Diana's death, you know the one where the writer explains that Princess Diana's death has overshadowed Mother Theresa's. 

FB: And how about that girl, you know Ying-a-ling, who could finally get into an R-rated movie? 

FG: I think you got her name wrong, I believe its Ying Yang. Golly, that was so inspiring, it made me want to uhh.. age. 

FB: How about the article "Cafeteria Crumbs", what did you think about that? 

FG: I'm not sure, it was a real challenge to read. I think all Woodlands students will have trouble reading it. I don't feel insulted at all. Maybe they should of included a glossary for all the difficult words. 

FB: I'm sure glad that we have these people controlling the flow of information in the school. After all, I am a zombie-lemming-robot, it makes sense to cater to my brain with useless garbage. 

I could go on, but the newspaper has wasted enough of my time. 

I'm not writing this article to just bash the school paper(C.R.F. Yes you are ), it just seems that the editors and writers of the paper are out of touch with the student body. At the last meeting, someone brought up the idea that we should write an article about video games, but was shouted down by the rest of the staff, because it was "irrelevant". In particular, I remember an editor, Gita, saying that, "not everyone could relate with video games, but everyone could relate with Puff Daddy", and that if anyone wanted to read about video games, "they could get a magazine". That makes a lot of sense, I mean where could you possibly find a magazine on Puff Daddy? I mean there only a jillion magazines with a jillion articles about him. Also, it really annoyed me to hear her use the word everyone when referring to Puff Daddy. As I far as I know, the gangsta hip-hop groupie population is still in the minority. Further more, what does she mean by "everyone could relate to Puff Daddy"? How many of you had a friend killed in a drive-by shooting by a rival gang? How many of you also prfited from your friend's death by record sales? I suspect not many of you, but I guess Gita's been through all of that, that's why she can relate to Puffy so well. I could really picture her fending of those C.R.I.P.S. and Bloods on the west coast, a real gang-banger. 

Gita also pointed out that students didn't need to have any news about their own school, articles such as Daniel's about the clubs around school just took up too much space. I mean, would it make any sense to write about the school in a school newspaper? I guess for Gita-Queen of Logic, it wouldn't. The problem with the school paper isn't really the writing, its the writers. 

The writers don't seem to see the needs of the student body, and even worse, their not listening. The students of the Woodlands want more news about our GREAT SCHOOL! They don't want to eliminate all editorials, but they would like more insightful opinions. Editorials that provoke thought, and are truly original. They don't want regurgitated vomit from the popular press, or articles that can only appeal to a very select group of students. They don't want it flowery, and they don't want to see an article title like "Let's Save The Environment Because Its Good". If the writers don't believe me, they should just ask their friends, especially the ones not into Puffy. 

The students of the Woodlands should voice their opinion, after all its your paper, not Gita's or any of the other writers, and it certainly isn't Puff Daddy's. Five-hundred dollars goes into the paper each year, that's $500 that could of gone to intramural equipment, or a new ping-pong table in the caf, or free candy (approximately 10 000 pieces of candy for the student body). As a student, and considering the present condition of the school newspaper, that candy is looking awfully tempting. 

Mrs. Leudamen (my first grade teacher) didn't teach me how to read so I could shove this useless trash into my head. It is insulting that the newspaper would serve this shlop to their students, I mean, how much is beaver foods paying them? As it stands, there's only one use I see for the September issue, but there's too much of it on the boy's washroom floor anyway.