A Trip Through The World of MeTv

Submitted for Volume 3, Issue 1

 Cable TV has never been more saturated than it is now.    With the addition of more than a dozen new stations on the dial, flipping the buttons on the remote control has become a calorie-burning activity.     With the three month trial period almost over, the decision must be made by cable subscribers on whether or not they should subscribe.     With any new station that comes on the airwaves, the television viewer’s conflict over ‘specialty programming’ over ‘network programming’ increases. 

 You do have to wonder, however, why on earth some of these stations exist.   Do we really an entire channel devoted to golf?    Anyway, here’s a rundown of these stations. 

 SPEEDVISION 

 This channel broadcasts all the major racing events, from motorcycles, Formula One cars, BMX’s , and powerboats.      If you actually like watching vehicles going around a track for 4 hours, this station is for you. 

 HISTORY TELEVISION 

 This station is the Canadian version of "The History Channel", and just like its American predecessor, this station thrives on reliving past glories, whether it be in the two world wars, or from the Olympic Games.    This station has a game show called "Time Chase", a Jeopardy type game for no-brains, who answer multiple choice questions to win cameras or Swiss army knives.     One show worth watching is "It Seems Like Yesterday", staring Rick Mercer, from "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" . 

 TELETOON 

 The all animated network, this stations features tons, and tons of reruns of old favorites, but also feature some ‘mature’ cartoons from the National Film Board of Canada. 

 BET 

 Black Entertainment Television has been in service for many years, and is only now available in Canada.    In this station, you’ll find programming with African- American cultural influences, from R’B music, to comedy, to religious services.    You will also find reruns of old sitcoms with an African American cast that were on network.   Isn’t it sad that network TV seems to ignore people who are not Caucasian even more nowadays? 
 

 
 FOOD NETWORK 
 
  Hours and hours of cooking shows are available on this network.    A featured ‘star’ of this network is Emeril Lagasse, the Louisianan Chef with an overexuberant personality.  Also on the network are  "Ready, Set, Cook", a show that has chefs race against the clock to produce meals in a limited time period, as well as "Three Dog Bakery", where YOU can be able to make food for your DOG  (oh my!). 

 COMEDY NETWORK 

 Ha! Ha! Ha! This network was created to be the alternative for Prozac.    Lots and lots of reruns of old favorites, such as "Saturday Night Live", and  "Bizarre" (boy that show is crude), as well as new programs, like "The Mike Bullard Show". 

 HOME AND GARDENS NETWORK 

 If you thought Martha Stewart as annoying enough, you can now watch the supposed "know it alls" in home decorating and gardening show you how to paste wallpaper, or trim your shrubs -- 24 Hours a day (EEK) 

 OUTDOOR LIFE NETWORK 
 
 Fishing, Camping, Skiing, and even  Frisbee tricks with you dog!!   All of that is found on this network, but don’t you think it’s kind of contradictory watching a station about the outdoors, while you as the viewer are INDOORS? 

 There are OTHER stations, such as Headline Sports, and News1, but they’re pretty much self explained.    Well, you still have a month to watch these stations. So go ahead, immerse yourself in these stations, or ponder why on earth these stations were even created in the first place. 
 

Why we didn't print it: We aren't TV Guide. Or the Woodchips.