How to Become part of the SAC Executive

After seeing members of the SAC executive parading through the halls of our school, many of you may suddenly realize, "Hey, I could do a better job of running the school than these chumps." The truth is that you probably could, assuming you could somehow manage to be elected. "How would I ever get elected?", you might ask. Actually the whole process is pretty simple. Here are a few helpful pointers, courtesy of the 1996/97 executive council.

Things to do:
  • Wear silly hats.
  • Ask the audience at the election assembly "What's up?"
  • Make only positive comments, do not criticize anything.
  • Make lots of signs with witty slogans like "Vote 4 Me", and tape them to the walls.
  • Smile and look popular.
  • Make a lot of very vague promises, but refrain from saying anything meaningful.
  • Repeat everything you say many times so it has a chance to sink in.

    Things not to do:
  • Think of any original or useful ideas.
  • Deal with any relevant issues in your campaign speech, as this might offend someone.
  • Make any attempt to change the system.

    The most important thing to keep in mind is that the election is nothing but a glorified popularity contest. Forget everything Kim said at the election assembly, issues affecting are school are totally unimportant. Just look at this year's election. The only candidate to make any sort of meaningful promise was Nadine, with her idea of making the SAC minutes available to any students who wants to read them. This is a very good, valid idea, yet who will be next year's Secratary? Jackie Pangilinan, the girl with the crazy hat. I can not remember a single thing she said in her speech, but what does that matter? Issues do not matter, and besides what sort of issues would there be concerning the SAC? What do the executive do, besides making up names for dances and squandering money on spirit weeks and motivational speakers? The election is nothing but a big joke, and some candidates in the last election must have realized this and decided to play along, knowing that they had nothing to lose. It seems that they were right, as they have been elected despite a lack of any real ideas or opinions about issues affecting our school. Following the above mentioned guidelines, and with a bit of luck, you too might one day be part of the SAC executive. After all, the SAC needs more people like you, people willing lie to their fellow students, and to sacrifice their principles in order to advance themselves. It is this type of person who has made the SAC executive what it is today.