HERE TODAY, GONE TODAY

Submitted for Volume 3, Issue 2

In the late 90’s , the world of pop music is more disposable than ever. Many musical acts nowadays have one hit and soon are never heard from again. This is not surprising considering the huge competition in the music business, not to mention the lack of major ‘superstars’ in the market today. 1996 saw the emergence of artists like Donna Lewis, Tony Rich, and Merrill Bainbridge, but they all have faded into obscurity in a relatively short time period. 1997 sees this trend of ‘one hit wonders’ continue, even more so that in the past. Here’s a list of those artists which you will asking "Who?" this time around next year. 

AQUA-BARBIE GIRL -Denmark’s heir apparent to Eurotrash queen Whigfield, this quartet seems to enjoy singing about absolutely nothing, sounding a lot like early Madonna in the process.   The lead vocals on "Barbie Girl" are about the most annoying I’ve heard in a while.      The conversation that Barbie has with Ken is ultimate cheese. 

WHITE TOWN - YOUR WOMAN-  OK?!?!    A song about not being someone’s woman coming from a heterosexual man?   This was clearly a novelty song, and, Jyoti Mishra, the sole member of White Town, will probably fade into the darkness in the not too distant future. 

MEREDITH BROOKS - BITCH-  Boy, did this woman get it right on the nose about herself!   This song just makes you wonder if just about ANYTHING can make the top of the charts. 

PAULA COLE - WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE?  This woman created more of a stir with exposing her armpit hair and posing nude for her album cover than she did with her actual music.   She got invited to Lilith Fair this year, but she definitely won’t next year. 

THIRD EYE BLIND - SEMI CHARMED LIFE -  I don’t get it with this song.    Radio stations still play this song, despite the graphical references to drug use and oral sex. 

ROBYN - DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES - Swedish soul?  What a concept!!   Well, teenager Robyn already is rumoured to possess that dreaded ‘diva’ persona.   It probably won’t do her any good, cause her career will likely be shorter that her countrymen and countrywomen AoB and Roxette. 

MATCHBOX 20-PUSH 
SISTER HAZEL-ALL FOR YOU 
TONIC- IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE - What do these three bands have in common?  They are definite Hootie sound alikes.   If that is not the kiss of death, I don’t know what is. 

SUGAR RAY - FLY -  Puh-lease!   If you though No Doubt was bad enough ripping of the ska sound, these guys absolutely butcher it to pieces.    By the way, I think it’s good that the song lyrics mention respect to the group mothers, because this time next year, each group member will likely be living in their mother’s houses. 

CHUMBAWUMBA - TUBTHUMPING - Oh Goodness!  I guess these veteran British punksters can have their ONE hit, but there is one thing I must ask.  Is that lady actually saying "pissing the night away"? 

    Oh yeah don’t forget that along with those artists mentioned above, you likely will never hear Hanson, Spice Girls or Backstreet Boys after this year either.   On the other hand  there could be a ‘Music That is Totally Forgettable Preservation Society’ looming somewhere in your hometown, an organization which discusses those wonderful songs from Tiffany and Debbie Gibson on a weekly basis. 
 

Why we didn't print it: One of the editors is a barbie-girl in a barbie world.