Half-Assed Movie Reviews #1Dance Me OutsideI heard about this Canadian movie on the CBC, which was heavily hyping it a week before they put it on. I had planned to watch it, but then I realized that it was going to be shown on Sunday night at 8:00, which means that it was competing head-to-head with The Simpsons for my attention. Needless to say, The Simpsons won. Feeling guilty, I tuned in to Dance Me Outside after The Simpsons was over. Dance Me Outside revolves around a guy named Silo, or Silage or something (I think it was Silas). Silas and his best friend Frank jump from weird situation to weird situation all through this film, like getting their friend's white fiancee totally, incredibly, balls-out, "I can see through time" drunk, so drunk that he begins to think that he is a porcupine during this hastily planned "Honourary Indian Initiation Ceremony" they cooked up at the last minute. The ceremony was really just a diversion to let the guy's fiancee get pregnant with another Indian (I'm not sure why she did that, I didn't start watching the movie until after the plot development part was over). After that, they find some dead guy under a bridge or something, and go postal on some guy's car, because they thought it was owned by two white guys dressed like cowboys. Then I had to give up the TV to my Dad, so I missed the rest of it until I saw a wicked car chase with Danny Glover and Mel Gibson, full of explosions and Joe Pesci whining about how he doesn’t have a gun. I 'm not sure, but I think that was another movie. Seeing Mel Gibson again brought all the old hate flooding back, so I switched back to Dance Me Outside, just in time to see a giant brawl in a police station, another dead guy, and Silas and his girlfriend sitting around half naked, burning her clothes in the stove. Then it ended. The soundtrack is pretty cool, mostly featuring some guy I haven't heard before singing about his "Indian Car", and a lot of war cries. It was filmed in some hole of a town that is half trailer park and half garbage dump. Cool. I wanna rent this movie, to figure out why all those people died, why Porcupine Dude's girlfriend shafted him, why that girl was burning all her clothes instead of washing them, and what the hell an "Indian Car" is. I give Dance Me Outside a ten if it didn't have Mel Gibbon in it, and two if it did. Check it out. |