HTP - The Cutting Room Floor

Colin All Cars

Can't get enough Valedictorian action. Well check this out.Colin answers questions from our readers*. Read and be amazed. In that order.

Q: What is your favourite colour?

A: The goats, the goats, the goats are free.

Q: Do you like amusement parks?

A: I never put my poodle in my microwave, contrary to what other people have said.

Q: Is calcium an element?

A: When you egg someone's house, it is very difficult to remove the egg.

Q: How did that happen?

A: Sticks and stones, may break my bones, but I own a missile launcher.

Q: Why is it that things like that happen?

A: Some fridges you can move, some you can't. Fridges are pretty heavy.

Q: What do you hope to accomplish?

A: Cupboard doors don't have to have handles. You can just smash your head through them and access what's inside the cupboard.

Q: What figures in history have inspired you?

A: Paper was not meant to be for humans. It was meant to be for dirt.

Q: What types of shoe do you like?

A: The lights in our houses are powered by Monty Hall.

Q: If something like that happen, how would it affect the situation?

A: I used to have a dog, and then it died. Now we don't have to buy dog food anymore.

Q: Why are you running for valedictorian?

A: When I first enter the Woodlands, in grade nine, I entered with a bandanna on my head and a book about Charles Manson in my pocket.

Q: Do you have any predications for the future?

A: There is the toonie and the loonie. Soon there will be the threenie.

Q: How do you tell time.

A: Its not 20 after, its ten to half past. Its not 25 after, its five to half past. Its not five to, its fifty five after, therefore it is now time to bring the goats home.

* All questions are fake. We meant to use "stable" and not "staple". The Woodchips is good.

Why we didn't print it: Richard Vera left it at his house, and it was the last day of school so we had to go with what we had, and replaced this feature with a collage we made in the Xero parking lot. Colin all Cars did appear in the second run of copies, which were handed out durring exams. If you have a copy of HTP i4v2 which includes the collage, you have a collectors item, because only about 75 of these were made.